Republican Jokes

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Funniest Republican Jokes

What’s the difference between a rapist and a Republican? Hollywood won’t work with a Republican.

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People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence. I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

Score: 163

I’m dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween. I won’t be leaving the house.


(Heard this on the podcast “Fake the Nation” and thought you all would like it.)

Score: 124

A Russian spy, a Klansman, and televangelist walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry. Republican Convention is next door."

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How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook.

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If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving, If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

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Funny Republican Jokes
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What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention

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A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

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Donald Trump is not actually a member of the Republican Party He's a *Whig*

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What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.

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The Republican primary race should be called "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" It's way too long, and the protagonists are becoming more juvenile as it goes on.

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If a Republican candidate who is hated by the GOP establishment and loathed by half the country just won the election... ...maybe Hillary should consider running as a Republican!

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I heard the Republican Party is considering renaming itself as the National Conservative party Or Nat-C for short

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I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.

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Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

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After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died? To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party

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Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans? Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough

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I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately. Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

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Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.

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I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high. It is only 1 Pence.

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A Republican, Christian, Vegetarian and the Nicest man ever walks into a bar And only orders water because Mr. Rogers didn't drink

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I'm really disappointed after hearing about Trump and the golden shower thing. I thought we had seen the end of republican trickle down economics.

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I feel sorry for Bruce Jenner. He should have never admitted that he is a Republican. Some things are just better kept in the closet.

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My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.

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Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.

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I clicked "Submit a Joke" before thinking of what I'd say Now I know how the Republican party feels.

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I don’t think Elon Musk’s comments hurt his odds of being elected to public office Now he just has to run as a Republican

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Wanna know the real reason the Donald Trump won? [This post has been removed by The Republican Party]

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I asked my Republican friend if he though Amazon should pay taxes He said "Of course, they're not a church"

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Abraham Lincoln could never call himself a republican today. Because he was murdered while watching a play in 1865.

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What was the stuttering Republican doing by jerking off? se-seeding from the union

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I'm surprised Trump ran as a Republican I thought he was running as a joke

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Why did the Republican hate his logic course? Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art

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My Grandfather, a lifelong Republican, has just voted Democrat for the first time. Strange since he died last year

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What do you call a republican fashion director? Clothed minded

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A Democrat, a Republican, and a centrist are riding a boat when an iceberg appears in front of them. The Democrat said, "We should turn left!"

The Republican said, "We should turn right!"

The centrist said, "Let's compromise and go straight!"

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What's a republican's least favorite type of college major? Liberal Arts

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What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party? Shot in the head in Dallas.

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When asked how old he is, a friend of mine describes himself as being, "Not old enough to vote republican" Meanwhile, I would describe my friend as being, "An appropriate age to be dodging that question"

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New Republican Jokes

I asked the Republicans how Trump became the face of the Republican Party... They replied: “The Democrats kept beating us, so we figured it was time to play our Trump card."

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Why is the Republican party getting famous for their Agriculture? Because if you don't agree, then you get thrown out of the party and position, that's become the culture now, thus the "agree culture"!

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What’s the difference between a Republican and a staunch Republican? A staunch Republican is one who never washes his hands after using the restroom on the off chance he’ll get to shake Nancy Pelosi’s hand.

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An ethical Republican walked into a bar At least that was what the other Republcan who was holding the bar told police

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Why don’t Republican politicians introduce stricter gun control bills? Because it’s easier for the NRA to write “no changes.” on the memo line of their donation cheques.

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I asked a Republican about gun control... He said, "It's bad to politicize today's tragedy! It's too soon to discuss last week's tragedy. It's a bit late to discuss last month's tragedy."

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What’s red and bad for your teeth? The new Republican healthcare plan

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How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.

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What's a Republican's favorite keyboard command? Alt+Right

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What's a Republican policy that helps the middle class instead of the .01% <Removed.>

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Did you hear what the new acronym for the republican insurance plan is? R.I.P

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My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat

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What's the difference between a republican in power and out of power? Out of Power: "He's not MY president," and "A little rebellion now and then is a GOOD thing."

In power: "The president said and YOU must obey!"

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Death changes a man My entire life my father voted straight Republican, since his death he has been voting straight Democrat.

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