Hilarious Salt Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Salt Jokes

Score: 1463

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million year old Himalayan rock salt bed The label says the expiry date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time

Score: 780

Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.

Score: 329

SMS I was on sofa next to my wife who was eating and typing on her phone. So I heard my phone ringing at the kitchen where I was charging it. So I went to check , the sms was from my wife and she wrote "bring the salt on your way back."

Score: 321

My doctor said I need to cut back my sodium intake... ...but I tend to take everything he says with a grain of salt.

Score: 231

Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me! Police officer: That's a salt!

Score: 222

What is a chef's favorite gun? A-salt-rifle

I'll show myself out

Score: 169

I was having dinner .. .. .. with Garry Kasporov

and on the table was a checkered tablecloth.

It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.

Score: 168

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt? So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Score: 162

My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.

Score: 156

WARNING: There's an email going round... ...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.

If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.

It's spam!

Score: 145

YO momma so nasty... She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Score: 136

Does anybody know any jokes about salt? Na

Score: 123

My doctor told me to cut down on my sodium intake. Ive been taking his advice with a grain of salt.

Score: 103

Why does everyone add salt to their meals? It’s sodium goooood

Score: 89

More salt? Na.

Score: 73

Did you hear about the guy addicted to eating salt? Don't worry, he was cured.

Score: 66

A husband was sitting next to his wife while she was eating. He heard his phone's message tone coming from the kitchen. He went to the kitchen and read a message from his wife saying "Please bring the salt on your way back."

Score: 66

There’s an email going around offering processed pork, gelatine and salt in a can. If you get this email, don’t open it. It’s spam.

Score: 65

I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night... I had dinner with Garry Kasparov last night and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Score: 60

There's an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can Don't open it, it's spam

Score: 58

Why do slugs carry pepper spray when they go out late at night? To protect themselves from a salt

Score: 51

what do you call sodium chloride crossed with a poisonous writing utensil from out the sea a salt with a deadly wetpen

*hides*

Score: 50

My father used to say "Take everything with a pinch of salt" Nice man. Made terrible tea.

Score: 49

I took my dying pig to the vet Imagine my surprise when he said he had cured it .. he really knows his salt.

Score: 48

I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov (world chess champion)... ...and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Score: 46

I was making fun of some sodium chloride and ended up being charged with aggravating a salt.

Score: 45

70% of dishes are under-seasoned, according to a recent survey by the seasoning manufacturers' association. Obviously, this is biased. Take it with a grain of salt.

Score: 44

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

Score: 41

What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle.

Score: 39

Women are like the salt of my life They raise my blood pressure

Score: 33

What do you call a weapon made of sodium chloride? A salt rifle.

Score: 32

I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got were Icy Stares.

Score: 19

Would you like some salt? Na.

Score: 16

I was at dinner with my girlfriends family She said "Pass the salt, daddy".

It got really awkward when her father and I both reached for it...

Score: 16

What do Michael Jackson and salt have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Score: 15

What do you call a gun made out of sodium chloride? A salt rifle.

Score: 15

Why don't snails use the internet? Salt is bad for their health.

Score: 15

What's the difference between LSD, and the church of LDS? One to take with a sugar cube, the other you take with a grain of salt.

Score: 14

what did the Copper say to the sodium chloride couple? I'm taking you in for a salt

Score: 14

New Salt Jokes

I inherited hypertension from my granny. She taught me to take everything with a grain of salt.

Score: 2

My Nan used to say “Take everything with a pinch of salt”. Lovely lady, made terrible cook though...

Score: 2

I was having breakfast with my girlfriend and her father When she says ,” Could you pass the salt ,daddy.”
How was I supposed to know she wasn’t talking to me?

Score: 0

What do you call baking soda when someone throws it in your face? A salt!

Score: 0

If you hold your hand out and pretend you are holding a salt shaker, then shake the pretend salt into your open mouth you can taste the salt. It works best in front of a witness.

Score: 0

Why do crocodiles live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water they'd never stop sneezing.

Score: 0

How do you get rid of an unwanted slug? Control Salt Delete

Score: 4

You have to take these modern homeopathic health fads with a pinch of salt. Preferably Himalayan pink rock salt, due to its high mineral content and detoxifying effects.

Score: 5

Why did the person with high blood pressure sue the cook who put sodium in his food? It was a salt.

Score: 1

Why did the type 1 diabetic sue the man who put sodium in her food? It was a salt.

Score: 1

I wanted to buy salt off Amazon today But they told me it’s NA

Score: 1

What kind of crimes does Litium do? A salt and Battery

Score: 0

My friend asked if I wanted to hear a salt joke I said Na

Score: 4

Before I go on any long journeys, I always put some salt and pepper on my head. I'm a well-seasoned traveller.

Score: 2

Why do sharks like to swim in salt water? Because if it was pepper water, they'd sneeze

Score: 3

What is the difference between stabbing a man and killing a pig? One is assaulting with intent to kill; the other is killing with intent to salt.

Score: 2

My Buddy thought that the on coming Tsunami was a Problem Because it's salt water; I found it to be a solution

Score: 1

What do you call a salt water duck? A saltine quacker.

Score: 3

I take ice... with a grain of salt

Score: 2

What do you call a war hero covered in salt and pepper? A seasoned veteran.

Score: 14

What it the most popular food in the world? I think it's salt but you should take it with a grain of salt.
-- (Be gentle I made it up...)

Score: 2

Why Were Sodium Chloride and Lithium Ion Arrested? For 'a salt' and battery :D

Score: 2

An acid and a base walk into a bar The police later arrested the two for a salt.

Score: 12

Don't you think taking a bath is a bit tasteless? Why not add some salt in it?

Score: 1

The Spice Girls reunion tour (with special guests Salt-N-Pepa) was just announced. It will be called the Allspice Seasonal Tour, presented by Old Spice.

Score: 2

What fruit do you get when you combine a sheep and with some salt? Banana

Score: 2

I got arrested the other day for throwing a battery at my wife and hitting her favorite salt shaker instead They charged me for a salt and battery.

Score: 3

What's a keyboard warrior's favourite weapon of choice? A salt rifle.

Score: 2

Why do fish live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

Score: 3

My Teacher Threw Sodium Chloride At Me.. That’s a salt!

Score: 3

What's the difference between salt and vinegar? I wasn't charged with a vinegar last year.

Score: 5

whats the difference between a lol player and a bucket of salt? the bucket

Score: 2

Hey dad can you pass the salt? I don't know son, can you pass the semester?

Score: 2

NaCl/NaOH The base is under a salt!

Score: 3

Who's your daddy ? "Daddy pass me the salt please" said the girl innocently.

The scene became tensed when the boyfriend and her dad both reached for the salt.

Score: 2

The chemist got arrested last night in his lab He was charged with a salt and battery

Score: 2

What job are rude epileptics well suited for? Salt shakers.

Score: 5

Sodium and chloride had a nasty fight ... They were charged with a salt.

Score: 1

At the movies last night, saw somebody get into an altercation with the guy working the popcorn machine. Dude ended up getting charged for a salt and buttery.

Score: 2

An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail. Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.

Score: 4

Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Edit: My 50 year old great aunt finds this joke to be hilarious. She insists on telling this joke to every person that she comes in contact with.

Score: 3

What did the chemist say when the waiter asked if they wanted salt? Na

EDIT: NaCl. Thanks /u/Dyesce_ .

Score: 1

The internet is a scary place. It's dangerous to go alone! Take this .

(It's a grain of salt)

Score: 8

What do you call sodium chloride beating someone up with Bruce Lee's corpse? A salt with a dead Lee weapon

Score: 5

What kind of ships can't go in salt water? Snail-boats

Score: 5

A merchant had been selling salt and pepper for 30 years... He's a pretty seasoned salesman

Score: 5

Gary Johnson is happy with the election results... He's got a new Mountain of Salt to climb.

Score: 1

what do you get when you cross epsom with a gun a salt with a deadly weapon

Score: 2

Local cyborg beats another cyborg to death for it's Sodium-nickle batteries, proceeds to restore his electricity supply after being arrested. He was charged with a salt.

Score: 4

Take heed: Do not open this email There's an email that had begun circulating recently that is offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it; it's SPAM.

Score: 4

Why are League of Legends players the most skeptical people on Earth? Because they take everything with a grain of salt.

Score: 2

You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other. Isn't it ionic?

Score: 2