Hilarious Scary Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Scary Jokes

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North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

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I’ve just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen… I can feel it…

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That CIA surveillance leak sure is scary I hope my Roomba doesn't start gathering dirt on me

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A kid and a clown are walking through the woods. The kid looks around and says, "man these woods sure are scary"

The clown replies, "you're telling me I have to walk out of here alone."

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North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary… Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…

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THAT'S NOT FUNNY, THAT'S SICK! A clown and a little boy are walking through the woods. The boy says "it sure is dark and scary here". The clown says "how do you think I feel? I'm coming back alone".

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This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
That's scary!
It means 75% are running around untreated!

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Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

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A little boy and a clown are walking through the woods at night... "Golly!" the boy says, "It sure is scary out here!"

"You think you're scared!" the clown replies. "I'm the one who has to walk home all alone."

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25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That's scary... It means 75% are running around untreated.

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Frightening Statistic This is probably one of the most worrisome statistics to emerge in recent years.

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

That's scary.

It means 75% are running around untreated.

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Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says "I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here." The other replies, "You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."

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I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen... I can feel it...

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I just read that 25% of women in the United States take medication for mental illness... That's scary! Why do we let 75% of them run around untreated??

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Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange... I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

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If you ever feel lonely, watch a scary movie Then you won't feel so lonely anymore.

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Current times are scary. We must rise up against it. We need current times resistance. We need voltage.

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25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. Which is really scary because that means that 75% are running around untreated.

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I just started my first Braille horror story I know something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

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Why are white prisoners so scary? Because you know they did it.

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What do you call a scary philosopher? Aristartle

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I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story. I think something scary is about to happen, I can feel it.

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I've been reading so much about the scary trade disputes between the US and Canada, I see headlines when I blink... ...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.

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Tell someone that you love them today, because life is short... but scream it at them in German because it's also confusing and scary.

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I've been reading a scary book in braille... Something good is about to happen I can feel it.

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What’s so scary about a white person in prison You know he did it

This ain’t mine btw I got it from youtube

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What kind of music is scary for balloons? Pop music

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A man and a boy went into the woods at night... ... the boy says to the man, "it's scary out here." The man then replied, "You think you're scared, I gotta walk out of here alone!"

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A man and a boy are walking in the woods And the boy says in his childish voice "gee mister, these woods sure are scary!"
To which the man replies in a humbled tone " your telling me! And I gotta walk out of here alone!"

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A clown and a five year old boy are walking into the woods As they get deeper into the forest the little boy says, Wow it's scary in here!
The clown replies, What are you scared of, I gotta walk out of here alone!

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A man and a boy are walking through the dark woods together Boy: Wow this is really scary

Man: How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!!!

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So two cows are standing in a field... One turns to the other and says, "So have you heard about this mad cow disease business? Pretty scary stuff."

The other looks back and says, "What do I care, I'm a helicopter!"

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A new study shows 25% of anti-vaxers are currently on medication for mental illness which is quite scary. Because that means 75% are running around untreated.

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The sentence "I'm aware" isn't very scary Unless you put Wolf on the end.

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The internet is a scary place. It's dangerous to go alone! Take this .

(It's a grain of salt)

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What's orange, empty headed, and tries to be scary? A jack o'lantern!

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I had a scary dream about a horse last night Man what a nightmare

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Ten horses walk out of a bar. They see another horse getting mugged by a big scary dude in an alleyway. The horses are unsure if they should intervene. One brave horse says, "Let's put it to a vote! If you want to help him, say aye!" They don't help him.

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What do you call a scary cake that keeps coming back? A boo meringue

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New Scary Jokes

For men, Halloween isn't the scary times. But No Nut November is.

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Hey guys, I have a really scary joke But I’m 2² to say it

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I watched a movie about a guy who cut off his ear My dad said it was scary but to me it was a bit eerie

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I have a super scary Ghost costume to scare all the kids The Ghost of Epstien

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Stranger Things is scary enough for the characters in the US. Imagine what it would be like if they were in Australia.

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Bigfoot costumes can be surprisingly realistic and scary... ...especially at a midnight bonfire that I wasn’t invited to.

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What’s a scary monster that can fit on your finger? The boogy man.

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Does anyone remember the name of IBM's scary web application server? I think it was something like 'Web's Fear'.

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I visited Chernopyl many times I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been there... it’s 14.

And let me tell you, It’s a very very scary place. I’ve seen it all with my 6 eyes.

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A man and a boy walk into the woods at night. The boy says it sure is scary out here. Man says you're scared I have to walk out alone.

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Did you hear about when North Texas wanted to succeed from the rest of the state? They went though a rough patch, and it was pretty scary for a while, but they're OK now.

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A man and woman are walking at night through a cold, dark forest. “I don’t like this place. It’s scary and I’m cold,” declares the woman.

“You’re scared?!” the man replies, “you’re not the one who has to walk back all alone!”

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A scary thing to do to your girlfriend on Halloween... is ask her if she's going as a sumo wrestler.
Spooky!

Shout out to my friend Ryan Smith for this joke

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What do you call scary bees? BooBees (.)(.)

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Did you hear the scary story about a piercing gone wrong? It was eerie.

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I'm a performance artist. My next show involves peeing on a scary clown.... And now, Urine on It.

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Two Nuns Two nuns are driving down the road in the dark when a big scary vampire jumps out in front of the car. One nun turns to the other and says "show him your cross!!!"

Nun two gets out and shouts "get out of the way you toothy git!"

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some think haunted houses are on the scariest level. I think haunted skyscrapers are scary on multiple levels.

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It looks like Sean "Spicy" Spicer has been replaced with Anthony "Scary" Scaramucci I wonder who the next replacement will be "Sporty", "Baby", "Ginger" or "Posh"

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Late at night I jabbed my wife in the dark and said, " You're it." I nearly fell out of bed when I woke up next to a scary clown in the morning.

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I Don't Get Why People Think Skydiving Is Scary They're always smiling.

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I used to work in an IT department but I quit Because scary clowns aren't really my thing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Have you seen that movie! It's pretty scary

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I was talking to Luke Skywalker the other day... And he asked me why 7 was such a scary number

I told him that 789

But Yoda insists

It was 678

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I got caught peeing in the pool The life guard's yelling scary me so bad I almost fell in!

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Why are horror movies involving camping so scary? They are in tents.

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So I had this dream of eating a large marshmallow The scary part was when I woke up I found my pillow missing.

*Took this off an essay example thing we were given in English, thought it'd be pretty funny to post on here

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A man and his five year old son are walking in to the woods. The deeper they get the darker it gets. The boy grabs his father's hand tightly. "Wow Dad, this is so scary".

The father shivers. "You're telling me son. I have to walk out of here by myself".

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Did you hear the one about the old man and the little boy in a dark forest? The little boy says to the old man, "Mr. it's real scary way out here." The old man replies, "you're telling me, I have to walk out of here alone."

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