Server Jokes

Could you imagine if trump actually moved the files from govt servers to a private server? That would be Hillaryous.

What does Hillary Clinton say when she's unhappy at a restaurant? Can I have a different server?

Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server.

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server? D--Dos

The computer scientist failed when trying to hit on his waitress ERROR: Connection to server not found

I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase "my server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

So a Buddhist goes to a hotdog stand. And asks the server to "make me one with everything"

At the bookstore Customer : Do you have any books on turtles

Server : Hard back ?

Customer : Yeah, with little heads

Two admins meet at work "A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"
"Wow. He is a hacker?"
"No. Just an idiot."

I feel for Hillary Clinton The FBI found a server in my basement too. She was from Hooters I think.

I was told that tipping your server is normal in America I was told that tipping your server is normal in America

But apparently this will get you fired as a systems administrator.

Why is everyone in an Internet café hungry? Server Not Found.

Why did the network admins go to to hooters? To see the the server racks.

A Chinese food place tried to charge me for 1,000kg worth of food The server told me she thought I had ordered the one tonne soup.

Whenever I go out to eat I always tip my server. I've also learned that servers have horrible balance.

What's the problem with robot waiters? The server might crash

At the restaurant with food still on my plate... Server: "Do you wanna box for that"
Me: "No. It's not worth fighting for"

So a pregnant woman walks into a diner. A pregnant woman walks into a diner, and the server says:

"Hi there, are ya hungry?"

The fetus replies:

"Nah, I gestate."

TIL in my IT class what a server originally was called ... A waitress.

What does a farmer, a pimp, and a bluegrass band all have in common? They all know how to throw a hoe down.



(Disclaimer: I was exchanging dadjokes with our server at Krueger’s in Cincinnati. He wrote this joke. Neil, if you’re out there..cheers!)

A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:


`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `

My waiter once brought me the wrong order I guess that was a server error

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong? 500 Internal Server Error

Dinner Date Fail... Had a date with a beautiful woman last night, but she abruptly stormed off when I informed our server that he had given me her peas.

An old man shuffled really slowly into an ice cream shop and said, “Can I have a banana split?” Server: Sure. Crushed nuts?

Old man: No, Arthritis.

I went to this cool new restaurant in Vegas, the server woman came out nude with the menu painted all over her body. She asked if I was ready to order, I said “ I know what I want, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”

I went to an Indian restaurant and asked the server if there were any bread options... He said, “Sorry sir. We have naan.”

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server? Just because ICANN.

I have worked in a restaurant and within the tech industry... The biggest difference is the meaning of the phrase "My server just went down on me."

Hillary Clinton has been frequenting a new restaurant, reports say. I guess the main appeal of it is her own private server.

Hillary went for dinner with Barack Obama the other day I heard he was very polite, but hillary brought her own private server.

Got this new game today called "Real Life" Tried to login as a female in the china server but it always crashes on the loading sceen

Why didn't the client tip the server? Because they didn't have enough cache!

(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)

How did the bash server react to the DOS attack? Unixpectedly.

OP.

A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool.

He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae.

“Crushed nuts?” asked the server.

“No,” he answered.

“Bad knees.”

Black Betty An African lady named Betty came into a restaurant and asked the server, "Is there any chicken on the menu?" The server replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

A chef asked a server for some items from the back. The server returned naked with a smile and a can of whipped cream, and the chef angrily exclaimed...

"THIS IS NEITHER THE THYME NOR THE PLATES!"

Where does an IT Professional buy his agricutural produce? At the Server-Farm.

I went to a lingerie shop I picked up some pants and asked them server if they were satin

He said "no they're new"