Hilarious Snail Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Snail Jokes

A guy goes to a halloween party with a girl on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"

Score: 2216

I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster but it just made it more sluggish.

Score: 1314

I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.

Score: 911

I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.

Score: 851

As a kid I always thought a snail would move faster without its shell... But they only became more sluggish

Score: 468

Score: 435

I wanted to make my racing snail faster.. So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.

Score: 414

You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell, But it's actually more sluggish...

Score: 373

I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish

Score: 334

How do you make a racing snail faster? I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

Score: 299

I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster ...if anything, it made him more sluggish

Score: 289

I removed the shell from my racing snail thinking he'd be faster.. He's actually more sluggish now.

Score: 178

Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster... If anything he seems more sluggish!

Score: 168

A snail gets mugged A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."

Score: 166

I had a racing snail... To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish

Score: 154

Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish

Score: 143

Why do they eat snail in France? Because they don’t have fast food.

Score: 143

I used to have a a racing snail that kept losing. I decided to remove its shell to try and speed it up, if anything it made it more sluggish.

Score: 133

I took the shell of my racing snail thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish

Score: 126

A snail was mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Score: 116

I thought my snail's shell was weighing him down, but after I removed it he appeared even more sluggish.

Score: 114

I took the shell off my racing snail, hoping it would make him faster. But, unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.

Score: 108

I had a racing snail. I thought that if I removed it's shell, it would move faster. Instead it only made it more sluggish.

Score: 108

I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster.
If anything it just made it more sluggish

Score: 106

I took the shell off my racing snail... ... thinking it would make it go faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish.

Score: 92

Racing snail. My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.

Score: 89

I took the shell off my racing snail to speed it up. If anything it made it more sluggish.

Score: 89

I wanted to help my pet snail. He was really slow like, so one day I took off his shell, thought it'd make him more streamlined. Turns out it didn't. It made him more sluggish.

Score: 86

I used to have a racing snail, and thought it would be faster if I removed it’s shell... But it only made it more sluggish

Score: 74

My 5 year old told me this. What did the snail say while on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Score: 68

I took the shell off my racing snail... I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Score: 68

I stepped on snail once as a child. I guess it was my first crush.

Score: 46

I tried to make my racing snail faster by taking off its shell But that just made it more sluggish

Score: 32

I took my pet snail’s shell off to see if he could go faster. But now he’s just more sluggish.

Score: 12

What do you call a snail with PTSD? Shell-shocked.

Score: 10

A snail is walking home from the pub one night, when he gets beaten up and mugged by two slugs... He goes to the police, who ask him for a description of the attackers.

"To be honest, it all happened so fast..."

Score: 8

I took the shell off my racing snail so that he would go faster but now he is a little sluggish.

Score: 8

A man hears a knock at his door... He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What was that all about?"

Score: 8

I have a pet racing snail and I thought if I removed its shell it would go even faster... but now it seems more sluggish

Score: 7

My snail entered a race, I took off his shell to make him faster. But It backfired. If anything it made him more sluggish...

Score: 7

New Snail Jokes

What does a snail do when they’re in bankruptcy? They shell out!

Score: 0

There was a snail moving slowly in my backyard I decided to take his shell off to see if it would move a bit quicker.

It didn’t work, all it did was make it a bit sluggish.

Score: 3

I saw a snail moving very slowly in my backyard... I decided to take his shell off to see if it would move a bit quicker.

It didn’t work, all it did was make it a bit sluggish.

Score: 4

I had a snail when I was a kid The snail was moving very slowly so I thought if I took his shell off he might move a bit quicker.

He ended up just being a bit sluggish.

Score: 5

Someone told me if you take a snail out of its shell, it'll move faster. But actually, it just makes them more sluggish.

Score: 5

What does a snail carry on his back? His-cargo

Score: 1

A snail walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here!" and then throws him out... So the snail comes back to the bar a few days later and says, "Well what was that for?"

Score: 3

Did you hear about the snail who robbed a clock shop? He took a lot of time.

Score: 1

Two snails are on the beach. When they encounter a slug.

"Quick! Turn around! We're on a nudist beach!" says one snail to the other

Score: 2

I thought taking the shell off of my snail would make it go faster But it just made it sluggish.

Score: 1

A snail hits the lotto and goes into a Rolls Royce dealership and orders his car to have a giant "S" painted on the doors. When asked why he wanted it, he replied "I want everyone who sees me to say 'look at that S car go!'"

Score: 4

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SNAIL ON A SHIP? A snailor "tehee."

Score: 4

Ate a fancy French restaurant but the service was terrible. The escargot came at a snail's pace.

Score: 1

What did the snail paint a big S on his car? So everyone else can watch the s-car-go.

Score: 5

A snail gets mugged by a gang of turtles.... When the cops show up and ask him what happened, he says "I don't know, it all happened so fast".

Score: 1

A slug was assaulted by a snail... ...and the snail was arrested and brought to trial.

At the trial the judge said, "OK, slug, tell the court what happened."

The slug said, "I don't know, your honor...everything happened so fast."

Score: 5

I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him faster If anything it made him more sluggish

Score: 6

"What did you do that for?" A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

Score: 2

A snail buys a new car... The snail's new car is sleek and modern. It's also in the shape of an "S". Eager to show off his new car, he drives it around town. One of his friends notices and says, "Man! Look at that escargot!"

Score: 1

Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell? Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell?

It actually ended up being more sluggish

Score: 4

A man is on a cargo boat A man is on a cargo boat. He says to his Spanish wife "is that a snail?" but she says "no, escargot."

Score: 2

two friends and a snail... friend 1: check out this pet i got the other day.

friend 2: why did you get a snail as a pet?

friend 1: because i can always keep an eye on it.

friend 2: where did you get it?

friend 1: at the mall husk.

Score: 2

What sound does a snail make? Crunch!

Score: 1

What kind of ships can't go in salt water? Snail-boats

Score: 5

What do you call an introverted slug? A snail.

Score: 1

What's the most common crime in snail court? Assault.

Score: 1

What do you call an extroverted snail? A slug

Score: 4

Why did the construction worker get frustrated and stamp a snail? Because it had been following him around all day

Score: 2