Hilarious Socks Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Socks Jokes

Score: 12417

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand: Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the “right sock,” no matter where it is located in the universe.

Score: 820

my great grandmother got me a ps4 for christmas my so-so grandmother got me socks

Score: 508

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning.

Score: 441

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks? Gee, you knit?

Score: 389

How did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks

Score: 262

Why did the sperm cross the road ? Because I accidentally put the wrong socks on this morning.

Score: 172

Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks this morning.

Score: 146

I discovered that my socks exhibit quantum entanglement. As soon as I put on my left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.

Score: 132

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore.

Score: 101

How did the sperm cross the road? I wore the wrong socks.

Score: 97

Got a $100 Nike gift card Can't wait to buy that one pair of socks

Score: 95

Why did the sperm cross the road? ...'Cause I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

Score: 86

I've been feeling down, so I bought some new socks Cause you know what they say:
A hat warms the head
A coat warms the body
But socks warm the sole.

Score: 76

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because Scott put on the wrong socks this morning.

Score: 72

Do you have holes in your socks? You don't? Then how do you put your feet in?

Score: 63

Finally decided to throw away my favourite pair of socks but then i got cold feet

Score: 45

What kind of socks do bears wear? They don’t, they go bear foot.

Score: 40

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk.

Score: 33

Two babys at the birth ward... ...one baby says to the other."i'm a boy" to with the other reply:"how do you know?". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:"look i got blue socks on"

Score: 33

Why did the golfer buy two pairs of socks? He was afraid he'd get a hole in one

^^^^I'll ^^^^see ^^^^myself ^^^^out

Score: 32

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

Score: 31

Two babies are laying in the nursery One says:
-I'm a boy.
The other one asks:
-How do you know?
1st one replies:
-When the nurse leaves I will show you.
The nurse leaves shortly and the baby lifts up his blanket and says:
-See, I have blue socks on.

Score: 31

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing? In case he gets a hole in one.

Score: 30

How did the sperm cross the road? I put the wrong socks on today.

^(credit to /u/jackster_)

Score: 29

It makes sense that socks are always separating Because one of them always has to be right, so the other one left

Score: 29

How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired.

Score: 28

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one.

Score: 24

What is good for golf and bad for socks? A hole in one.

Score: 21

The worst birthday present I ever got... ...was from my grandma when i turned 5. She gave me three socks. When asked why, she responded "because your mom said you grew a foot."

Score: 20

Went golfing with a buddy, and I asked him why he brought an extra pair of socks. He said, "In case I get a hole in one."

Score: 14

I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks. I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together.

Score: 13

I just met a dyslexic hooker. She offered to cook my socks for £50

Score: 8

Socks are expensive. I can go on a date or I can buy a pack of socks. I was going to ask this girl out, but then I got cold feet.

Score: 8

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy always trying to leave each other, only to be brought back together by a third party

Score: 6

If every day is a gift... ... then today is socks.

Score: 6

Why did the seamen cross the street? Because I wore the wrong socks

Score: 5

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because the man wore the wrong socks

Score: 5

Why did the golfer throw out his favourite socks? Because he got a hole in one.

Score: 5

A golfer brought a extra pair of socks when he went golfing, Just in case he got a hole in one.

Score: 4

New Socks Jokes

Took my socks off earlier and saw a battalion of soldiers taking cover between my toes Trench foot again.

Score: 2

My wife is always asking me why I won't through away my old socks. The toilet paper shortage of 2020 should put an end to that though.

Score: 0

My friend told me about some new socks that help you stand up more. I said “I don’t understand.”

Score: 1

Bought a pair of working socks yesterday. I put them in the garden when I got home, they have not done a stroke of work, that is £5.99 i wont see again.

Score: 2

Which socks violate their restraining orders most? Stockings.

Score: 1

A: why is one of your socks blue and the other brown Idk, I have an exact pair back home

Score: 1

I often lay awake at night wondering if, in retrospect, my grandfather's hard work will be rewarded with some sense of peace or closure after my dementia ridden grandma passes. Damnit!!! And my socks don't match.

Score: 1

Somebody told me my socks didn’t match To which I responded, “I have another pair just like these!”

Score: 2

I asked my wife if she didn't have feet would she wear socks? She said no

I said then why do you wear a bra?

Score: 1

If I had a penny for every time somebody said I was materialistic... I'd probably be able to afford some Gucci socks.

Score: 4

In light of recent events, it seems pretty clear to me that whites and colors shoukd be kept seperate... ...I don't know what to do with all these pink socks.

Score: 1

I pray to my socks everyday They are considered very holy

Score: 2

1st snowfall I remember a long time ago when I first experienced my first snowfall. I was so excited, I was tempted to just take off my socks and shoes and go running through the snow. But then, I got cold feet.

Score: 2

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy... Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.

Score: 2

I'm going to be opening a store that sells cow print socks One for your left foot, one for the udder

Score: 3

A young blonde, leaving home for a one week visit to New York A young blonde, leaving home for a one week visit to New York, was told by her mother to put on clean socks every day. By the end of the week she couldn't get her shoes on.

Score: 3

What's it called when you wear army green socks? Camo-Toe!

Score: 1

I get the same thing for my birthday every year - a pair of socks and a piece of tail... And they're both two sizes too big.

Score: 1

I wore my golf socks today There's a hole in one

Score: 3