Solar Jokes

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Funniest Solar Jokes

Funny Solar Jokes
Score: 3963

Why don't aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.

Score: 3799

I'm taking my wife for skydiving. So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.

Score: 3633

Why didn’t aliens visit our Solar system yet? Because they saw the reviews and it only had one star.

Score: 3284

Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... ...so now it looks like France landed there.

Score: 2284

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like? No sun.

Score: 2004

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag. Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.

Score: 1529

Why don’t aliens come to our solar system? They checked our ratings.

One star.

Score: 404

What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system? Rename Uranus to Ouranus

Score: 272

I went online and rated our Solar System Gave it one star.

Score: 271

My review of our solar system 1 Star.

Score: 268

Why did the tree install solar panels? It wanted to be a power plant.

Score: 217

A solar panel is talking to a wind turbine... The solar panel says, "So what do you think about this whole renewable energy thing?"
The turbine replies, "I'm a big fan."

Score: 178

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

Score: 127

why have aliens never visited our solar system? because they saw the reviews only had 1 star

Score: 73

If I had to rate the solar system I'd give it one star.

Score: 69

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet, Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Score: 64

Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system? Bad reviews , only 1 star

Score: 64

Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse. It truly is a site for sore eyes.

Score: 63

Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

Score: 59

My solar business was forced to shut down Turns out the entire operation was shady

Score: 54

Son: Dad can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? Dad: No sun

Score: 51

Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system yet? When they last checked the review had only one Star..

Score: 48

Why haven't aliens visited our solar system? They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.

Score: 47

Why don’t aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.

Score: 35

RIP to all the vampires who got fooled by the solar eclipse.

Score: 33

Fun fact: 99% of voters who live in the "path of totality" for the upcoming solar eclipse voted for trump. Which is ironic, because the *last* thing they wanted to do is make the country darker.

Score: 31

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is ? No son

Score: 30

My boyfriend asked me how many planets are in our solar system. And I said. "Eight"
And he said, "Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight."

Score: 29

My review of our Solar System... One Star

Score: 29

Son - Dad, could you tell me what a solar eclipse is? No sun

Score: 29

I think our solar system is highly underrated ... ... Seriously, just one star? Duh.

Score: 28

I always thought I was destined for Stardom But then I realised my mass was below 0.08 solar masses.

Score: 24

Why don't we have any alien visitors in our solar system? I googled it and found the reason...

It's rated only '1 star' out there.

Score: 21

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse? The father replies "No son"

Score: 21

What do you call a deaf woman during a solar eclipse. Whatever you want to. It's not like she's going to know.

Score: 15

When does the moon cover the thun? During a solar eclisp

Score: 13

Just been reading some reviews of the solar system Can't believe it only got 1 star.

Score: 12

A solar eclipse is like watching a woman breastfeed in public It's beautiful, it's free, but under no circumstances should you look at it.

Score: 10

Eclipse is an acronym * Eyes
* Cannot
* Look
* Into
* Partial
* Solar
* Eclipse

Score: 10

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New Solar Jokes

How come aliens never visit us? No one wants to visit a one-star solar system.

Score: 2

Son: Can you explain what is a solar eclipse? Father: No son. “No son” (No sun)

Score: 3

I made a solar system using chocolate. That's the only way I'm going to eat Uranus.

Score: 0

Dad, can you tell me a solar eclipse is? "No sun."

Score: 1

I said, “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” He replied, “No sun.”

Score: 3

Do you know why haven't aliens come to our solar system? They checked our reviews.

One star.

Score: 9

Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White? Great... Now people will think France has been there

Score: 5

What's it called when your moods dependant on the weather? Bi-Solar

Score: 1

The FBI closed the National Solar Observatory monitoring the sun in New Mexico. It has been repositioned to monitor Uranus.

Score: 1

What's Rabbi Peter's favourite planet within our solar system? Jew-Peter of course!

Score: 2

So I’ve heard the American flags on the moon are white now because of solar radiation. Does this mean the French own it?

Score: 4

NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus They found it to be a shithole.

Score: 2

Have you heard the Russian president has just taken over a planet in the outer solar system? He's called it Putin-Uranus.

Score: 1

Why is Venus named after the Roman goddess of beauty? Because it's the hottest planet in our solar system

Score: 7

The solar eclipse was like a one night stand I spent a whole lot of effort for two minutes of pleasure.

Score: 1

I really wish someone would have told me how long this solar eclipse was going to take. Don't get me wrong, I had been enjoying watching it, but had I know it would still be going on for this long, I would have bought a pair of those fancy NASA glasses.

Score: 3

I am surprised Trump wanted to look at the solar eclipse today... Because if he went blind all he would see is black

Score: 3

My Dad is like the Solar Eclipse If i make direct eye contact he'll hurt me, but when it's safe for me to look at him he already left for milk and won't be back for several years.

Score: 4

LPT: When the next solar eclipse rolls around, you can use a colander to view the eclipse. Just be sure you don't strain your eyes.

Score: 1

What did the buffalo say during the solar eclipse? Bye sun!

Score: 2

What did the buffalo say during the solar eclipse? Bison...

Score: 8

The next solar eclipse will be in 2024... Three or four presidents from now.

Score: 3

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind... ...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.

Score: 2

The solar eclipse is like a woman breastfeeding... You’re not supposed to look, but you know you are going to take a peek.

Score: 1

You can use a cereal box to see the solar eclipse, But can they see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Score: 3

The solar eclipse was cool to look at and all... But when does this darkness go away?

Score: 1

What do people who make memes and solar eclipses over the US have in common? It takes them both 38 years to go all the way.

Score: 4

Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing... Because the parents cannot find their sun.

Score: 2

You can look at the solar eclipse directly Once with your left eye, once with your right eye

Edit: seriously don't. Remember to wear eye protection!

Score: 4

I'm really worried about the upcoming solar eclipse. Because I've always heard that once you go black, you never go back.

Score: 3

This monday there will be a solar eclipse at 10am... Followed shortly after by funeral proceedings for the Flat Earth Society.

Score: 1

The government will be giving out special glasses for the solar eclipse It's called the no child left blind

Score: 1

TIL that our sun accounts for about 99.86% of the total mass in our solar system. I guess that means yo momma only accounts for about 00.12%.

Score: 3

Why is Annie the Orphan crying? There was a solar eclipse.

Score: 2

Babe, you can call me Solar Radiation. Because I'm about to get caught up in your ozone.

Score: 9

What do you think of wind and solar energy? I am a big fan, I believe they have a bright future.

Score: 6

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum. They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

Score: 4

Why is solar energy abusive on the seaside? Because it's the sun of a beach

Score: 2

How many unknown solar systems are there? If we knew they wouldn't be unknown.

Score: 2

Humanity is children of the Sun, but according to Nemesis Theory there is a Second Sun in Our Solar System. whose name is ''Kim Ir Sen''.

Score: 1

I had an interview at a solar power plant today... And they asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them, I have a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.






Sorry, hype is an overwhelming thing.

Score: 1

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