Hilarious Stick Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Stick Jokes

Score: 3442

I saw a man in the street with a dog and a white stick. I said ‘You must be blind.’ He said ‘Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.’ So I said ‘There’s a tree over there.’

Score: 2641

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.

Score: 2198

At the Olympics I saw an athletic guy carrying a long stick and asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He looked surprised and said, "No, I am a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

Score: 1671

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick... She's still not talking to me :(

Score: 1610

My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape Maybe I won't stick with this one either.

Score: 955

Someone broke into my house last night and stole my Limbo stick.. How low can you get?

Score: 828

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick. I accidentally gave her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

Score: 766

Someone broke into my apartment last night and stole my limbo stick. How low can you go?

Score: 722

When a girl seductively tells you, "you can stick it wherever you want" Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options

Score: 451

What do you call a fish stuck in a tree? A fish stick!

My 4 year olds first joke.

Score: 429

Cigarettes are just like squirrels. They aren't dangerous until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Score: 365

As a spectator at the last Summer Olympics, I saw a guy walking around carrying a 10 foot long stick... "Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked.

"No," he responded. "I'm a German. But how did you know my name is Walter?"

Score: 344

I covered all my weapons in glue. I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.

Score: 288

Would you believe me… Would you believe me if I told you that I think a dog could retrieve a stick that’s been thrown over a mile away? Or would you say that idea is…

far fetched?

Score: 251

Girl, you must be a trash can... Because I want to take off your top and stick my junk in you.

Score: 246

I was at the inventor of the USB stick's funeral yesterday..... They lowered his coffin into the ground, then raised it back up, turned it around, and lowered it back down again.

Score: 203

Women are like car parking spaces... Usually, most of the good ones are taken....
So once in a while, you gotta stick it in a disabled one

Score: 168

Women are like parking spaces.... All the good ones are gone, so every now and then when no one is looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Score: 158

What kind of crows stick together? velcrows

Score: 152

I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs. I couldn't help thinking,

'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'

Score: 152

I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift… But I couldn't find a manual…

Score: 150

I gave my girlfriend a glue-stick instead of her lipstick, She's still not talking to me.

Score: 141

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Score: 137

Any bug can hit a windshield.. But it takes some guts to stick.

Score: 132

The saddest joke I've heard My wife ran off with my best friend...
Now, when I throw the stick, it just lays there.

Score: 128

10 years ago to this day, I cut myself with a stick of RAM I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.

Score: 127

If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

Score: 126

Squirrels are like cigarettes. They are completely harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light them on fire.

Score: 124

Cigarettes are like hamsters Harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Score: 119

People are like drums... If you hit them with a stick, they will make noise.

Score: 82

A mate told me that he threw a stick over a mile and his dog caught and returned it. Seems pretty far fetched to me.

Score: 60

What kind of birds always stick together? Velcrows

Score: 58

What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic

Score: 53

What do you call it when a Chinese ghost hits you with a stick? Bam! *Boo*!

Score: 53

Walter. I was in the park the other day and saw a guy practising his athletic trials, with a long metal stick for the Olympics. I asked if he was a pole vaulter, and he replied "Nein, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"

Score: 46

TIL a modern artist created a stringed instrument out of a tree branch that was only to be played in the event of the government being overthrown. It was a coup-stick.

Score: 42

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick after she asked for her lipstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Score: 32

You know what really grinds my gears? Teaching someone how to drive stick.

Score: 27

If I were stranded on a deserted island with 3 things of my choice... I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.

Score: 26

New Stick Jokes

A guy really just broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick. I mean, how low can you go?

Score: 4

I accidentally passed my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chap stick She’s still not talking to me.

Score: 3

What do u Call a boomerang that dosn’t comeback back? A stick.

Score: 4

What did the RGB light strip say to the memory stick? You're not very bright. In fact, you're just DIMM.

Score: 8

How are a priest and mcdonalds alike? They both stick thier meat in ten year old buns

Score: 3

My girlfriends are a lot like the winters we have here in Georgia. When I finally get one they stick around for 2 days then leave

Score: 4

My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature. So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

Score: 23

So apparently the new fashion trend of the day is to stick chewed gum in your hair It's a unique look but it's hard to pull off.

Score: 6

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of cleaning up his act? He changed his mind and decided to stick it out another year.

Score: 3

Women are like parking lots, All the best ones are taken so when no ones looking, stick it in the disabled one.

Score: 10

“My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad. Not as in, with a stick – he just died first

Score: 5

I'm going to combine my love for political activism with my love of archery so that I can stick it to the man from a distance

Score: 2

Carl drives a stick **Andy:** Carl, why was the clutch in my car broken after i lent it to you?

**Carl:** Well don't you look at me, i didn't even touch the thing!

Score: 11

Can believe someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo stick.. How low can you go eh?

Score: 3

Someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick How low can you go?

Score: 8

I always stick up for feminists. Their anger arouses me.

Score: 5

I met an old Air Force guy. I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he'd stick his d**k where the "sun don't shine". I go, "Did you jump?" He said, "A little."

Score: 16

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, But I couldn’t find a manual.

Score: 9

Why did the man stick a lightbulb in his mouth? He wanted a light snack

Score: 7

I taught my girlfriend how to drive a stick yesterday. Pretty soon she’ll be ready for a whole branch.

Score: 3

Which is more courageous a pebble or a stick? The pebble, it's a little boulder.

Score: 4

I was walking through the Olympic Park when I saw a man with a really long stick, I asked him "Are you a pole vaulter?" He said "Yes, but how do you know my name is Walter?"

Score: 2

How do you turn a duck into a famous soul singer? Stick it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers

Score: 4

If I'm carrying around a USB stick Do I have mobile data?

Score: 3

A duck walks into a drug store and asks for some chap stick.

The pharmacist asks if it will be cash or charge

The duck replies...

Just put it on my bill.

Score: 5

Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom? The mushroom because he's a fungi.

Score: 8

I threw my dog a stick and he brought me back a suit. It was quite fetching.

Score: 2

My nickname at school was glue I don't know why, it just seemed to stick

Score: 6

How do you start a rave in Israel? You stick a quarter to the ceiling

Score: 23

What do you call a mad stick? Twiggered.

Score: 4

Little kids are like fidget spinners They're overhyped.

Oh yeah and they spin easier when you stick something metal through them.

Score: 5

What do you call a steel stick that you can pull out of concrete? Excalrebar!

Score: 3

I wrote an article about "The top 10 worst places to stick a fork"... The 5th one will shock you!

Score: 6

What do Men's shelters and the restaurant "hot dog on a stick" have in common? Battered wieners

Score: 2

What is the difference between a pet dog and a pet tree? The bark is much quieter and throwing a stick for it to Chase is seriously messed up

Score: 3

Soaking a twig in coke is nice, but soaking a twig in fanta... Fanta stick.

Score: 3

did you hear about my friend? he went hiking but got is leg stuck in some branches. he was in a pretty stick-ey situation.

Score: 2

My memory is like a stick of RAM It forgets everything by the time I go to sleep

Score: 2

I need some help with some really corny jokes.... I'm in need of some clever and creative corny jokes (example....what's brown and sticky? A stick) Keep in mind they need to be clean and appropriate for elementary students. Thank y'all!

Score: 2

United is so popular now They have to beat the passengers off with a stick

Score: 2

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find the manual.

Score: 8

Earth went around the solar system asking the other planets for a stick of gum. They all refused, but Earth still got one; Pluto shares its Orbit.

Score: 4

What do women and KFC have in common? Once your done with the legs and thighs you have a greasy box to stick your bone in.

Score: 18

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it.

Score: 22

How do you comb a bee's hair? With a honeycomb!

I'm sorry I found this joke on a popsicle stick please forgive me.

Score: 12

I wonder why dogs get mad when you blow in their faces but as soon as you put them in a car they stick their head out the window.

Score: 7

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a child? It isn't a crime to stick your meat in a refrigerator.

Score: 6

I was going through my wardrobe, trying to select a suit for my grandmother's funeral. I said, "What shall I wear?"

"I don't really care," said my mum. "As long as you don't you stick out."

It's not easy being a necrophiliac.

Score: 4

A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : "your new vehicle has been launched".

He replies : " is it with gear stick or automatic?"

Score: 2

Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it. The taste of her hairy lap stick.

Score: 6

I heard the Ringling Bros Circus is staying in business They plan to stick around for another four years under the name "Trump Administration"

Score: 2

My friend was stressed before a party. "Why is my weed dealer *always* late, but my coke dealer early?" he said.

"Your coke dealer is the faster driver," I replied. "And the weed dealer is probably still laughing at the gear stick."

Score: 2

What's a cheerleader's favorite fruit? (Popsicle stick caliber) Pom-Pomegranate

Score: 2

What's the best part about a selfie stick? You don't have to look far to find something to beat the user of one in the head.

Score: 2

If you throw a stick of butter out the window what would you call it? A Butterfly!

Score: 4

What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and wet? A Stick of Gum...

Score: 2

A short one for classical musicians I once owned a frying pan that once belonged to the great Leopold Stokowski. It was non-stick.

Score: 2

Any love for a dry sense of humor? This was my grandpas all time favorite joke of all time, and when he would tell it he would laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes.

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

Score: 2

What do you call a fruit that makes fun of someone? A banana-nana-nana

Got it on a popsicle stick. Laughed for way too long.

Score: 16

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick? Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance?

---------

A: At the snowball.

Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

Score: 4