Hilarious Sun Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Sun Jokes

I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today. It's my thirty-second birthday.

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I once stayed up all night trying figure out where the sun went Then it dawned on me

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Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

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Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is like? No sun.

Score: 2004

A mummy calls a restauraunt. - Hello, I'd like to reserve a table for the pharaoh Sakhrakhotep I.
- Could you spell it out, please?
- Of course. Bird, two triangles, wavy line, the sun, bird again, jackal's head and a scarab.

Score: 1957

What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.

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Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains? Because the sun just came out.

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From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette? Your camera.

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TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

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My parents always tell me that their world doesn't revolve around me I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

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I suddenly forgot where the sun went at night... ...then it dawned on me.

Score: 440

When the US went to the moon.... ...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.

Score: 331

What's the difference between an Australian and a pot of yogurt? Leave a pot of yogurt in the sun for 200 years and it develops a culture.

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Why didn't the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.

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How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun? Planet

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What does the sun and cleavage have in common? You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.

Score: 193

I was in a long staring contest with the sun. Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.

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This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me

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The wisest men in the village could not figure out where the sun went at night. So they stayed up all night discussing it.
And then it dawned on them.

(I'll see myself out.)

Score: 177

Why couldn't the dyslexic plantation owner get anything done? Gingers just don't last in the sun.

Score: 176

If you leave a grape out in the sun, it'll shrivel and dry up... Just raisin awareness

Score: 157

TIL You can watch the sun through a telescope without any filters. Only twice though...

Score: 148

I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared Then it dawned on me....

Score: 147

TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon They'll think it was France

Score: 143

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

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"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" No sun.

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If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they'd have a Sun? Only if they planet.

Score: 116

Why doesn't the Sun need to go to college? Because it already has like a billion degrees.

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Don't trust people who avoid the sun. They're shady.

Score: 106

Beer is like the Sun It rises in the yeast, and sets in the Waist

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I had a staring contest with the sun I think I won, all I see is darkness now.

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I achieved my New Year's revolution from last year. I made it all the way around the sun.

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The sun blacks out on a work day & everyone is amazed. I do it and people say I've "got a problem."

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Why doesn't the sun go to college? Because it already has 28 million degrees

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Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

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I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡 Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡

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Beer is like the sun Beer is like the Sun.
It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

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I stayed up all night wondering what happened to the sun Then it dawned on me

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Son - Dad, could you tell me what a solar eclipse is? No sun

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New Sun Jokes

Son: Can you explain what is a solar eclipse? Father: No son. “No son” (No sun)

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My 11 year old told me this one.... Son: Did you hear? Sun dried grapes are getting more expensive this during this quarantine

Me: Huh, no I didn't know

Son: Yeah, the prices are really raisin!

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A sun walks into a black hole... So the black hole says to the sun "Sun, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".

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I said, “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?” He replied, “No sun.”

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The first picture of the black hole shows a bright ring as it vacuums light photons with intense gravity around its mass that is 6.5 billion times more massive than our Sun.. ..but it still doesn’t suck more than your mom.

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If it wasn't for the sun and electricity it would be lights out for everyone

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If only Steve Irwin was wearing sun screen... It would have blocked harmful rays.

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I was really thirsty so I reached for the Hawaiian Sun to drink Unfortunately, it was empty. Someone else had beat me to the punch.

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The sun is like a hot girl with a STD It might be nice to be in it at first but later you might get itchy and regret it

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My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature. So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

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I thought I'd study for my trig test best while out in the sun. But I'm still not feeling tan.

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Why is the Earth attracted to the Sun? Because the Sun is hot

Ha

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I think our sun is highly overrated At least the moon gives off a bit of light at night, the sun only shines in the day when it's already light.

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After years of practice I can finally tell what time it is based purely on the sun's location in the sky. Right now it is daytime.

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I met an old Air Force guy. I met an old Air Force guy. He said the first time he was gonna jump out of a plane he was scared. He said the Captain told him to jump, or he'd stick his d**k where the "sun don't shine". I go, "Did you jump?" He said, "A little."

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I TiVo'd the total eclipse and just caught up and I'm confused... is it okay to look directly at the sun now?

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What do you call the sun when it masturbates? A heat stroke

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My dad says I'm so bright He calls me sun.

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I've been telling him too many dad jokes apparently. Wife: I was feeling sad because the sun went away.

10-year old boy: I'm right here!

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Trying to make friends is hard.. went outside yesterday and even the sun started to hide from me.

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I think it worked... I looked at the sun yesterday early morning and the sun started to finally turn black.

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I've challenged the sun to a blinking contest everyday of my life Today was the first day I've won

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I saw a double eclipse today. Not only did the moon block out the sun, but the clouds did as well.

:(

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Can I press indecent exposure charges against stars? Because today the sun mooned me.

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So... did the sun just... moon us...?

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What does the moon say when it rKOs the sun? Totality

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GUYS. If you missed the eclipse today, there's going to be a secondary one later. It's at 8:01 PM. The earth will block out the sun and it will go completely dark during a period of about 10 1/2 hours.

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USA police. Police in most states in US were seen shooting at the sun for few minutes on 21st Aug 2017.

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My dad once told me, "Don't look directly into the sun during the eclipse" Then I said, "hey dad I'm over here!"

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Every solar eclipse, children are often reported missing... Because the parents cannot find their sun.

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What did the sun scream when he woke up? "Oh no! I'm surrounded!"

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Hey girl do you want to be the sun in my life? Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

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I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was And then it dawned on me

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I spent the night looking for the sun. Then it just dawned on me.

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Why was the teacher wearing sun-goggles in the class? Because the students were such a bright bunch of kids!

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I like my women how I like my sun Extremely hot and trying to kill me

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Girl, are you the sun? Because it pains my eyes just to look at you.

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I heard when the sun dies it's going to take the human race with it... I guess the future's not so bright

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I was pointing my camera at the sun today and someone asked me if I was preparing for the upcoming eclipse I replied: "Totally!"

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My son and I were talking last night He said, "Dad, i have to use stay out of the sun so I don't get a sun burn."
I simply replied, "No, no, no. You get son burns from dad jokes."

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TIL that our sun accounts for about 99.86% of the total mass in our solar system. I guess that means yo momma only accounts for about 00.12%.

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I recently visited Dracula's castle... I should've went before the sun came up to meet him.

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"We're happy to announce NASA's newest mission will allow us to LITERALLY touch our own Sun!" "Before we continue, please welcome our strangely-excited sponsors, the Catholic Church!"

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I stayed up all night wondering where the Sun went and then it dawned on me

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President Trump to sign an executive action taking aim at Sun Maid and California's Raisin industry He answered most of the criticism over the weekend by stating

"I would like to make raisins Grape again"

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My girlfriend is the sun of my life Which is why I told her to be far far away from me

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A farmer comes into a large amount of money and decides to buy his son's a large ranch where they can raise cattle. He calls the ranch "Focus". Because it's where the sun's rays meet.

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Ever wonder why you only see rainbows with the Sun at your back? Now you do.

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From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun. It was a tough year.

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How many light bulbs does North Korea Have? One.
What's it called?
The Sun.

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How does the sun get its hair cut? 'E clips it!!!

(My son told me that one. I'll be going now....)

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I think I'm relatives with sun. We're both hot, a star and the world revolves around us.

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Why is solar energy abusive on the seaside? Because it's the sun of a beach

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They say a man's work is from sun up to sun down and a woman's work is never finished. That's probably why women get paid less.

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It just occurred to me Trump's inauguration was cloudy. I guess the sun was another big star that refused to show.

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What do you call a sun filming flowers? Photosynthesis.

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I was tanning on the beach with my son. After a while, he looked at me and said, "You're look like a lobster."

"Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?" I asked.

He said, "No, you're just really ugly."

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Here's my review of the sun: One star.

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How many times can look at the sun with a telescope? You can do this twice.

One time with you right eye and one with your left!

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I couldn't remember what time the sun was set to rise this morning. But then it dawned on me.

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