Tattoo Jokes

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

Yesterday I went to temporary tattoo parlour and got a tattoo. But It wouldn't wash off this morning, so I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

My parents said that if I got a tattoo I'd have to get it in a place that didn't matter... So I got it in Appleton, Wisconsin.

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo. After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. Because then I would know she is capable of making decisions she will regret in the future.

My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back... Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."

The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."

I got my tattoo artist to write “Tattoo artists are stupid” on my back. I thought I got him pretty good until I realized the joke was on me.

When I'm at a bar I always look for a girl who has a tattoo. I see a tattoo, and I think, here’s a girl who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building and gets stopped by security. The security guard tells the guy there are no firearms allowed.

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

So my girlfriend got a new tattoo...... Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.

First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5". Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"

Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"

After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said 2"

And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"


It's the spinal countdown.

I got a prison tattoo of mitochondria Now I truly am the powerhouse of the cell

Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist. I regretted it literally one minute later.

What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player? A tattoo.

My girlfriend said she was going to get a massive tattoo of a snake on her back. "Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."

"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."

"No," I said. "I mean being single."

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain Nobody ever expects the Spanish ink precision.

People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh. When I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character You should've seen the Luke on her face.

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.



If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer? A Tattoo.

Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo. He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma.

My Ex had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean.

Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision

My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her. She knows how to make bad decisions and stick to them.

I'm getting a tattoo of an elephant on my ear... The only reason I'm doing this is so when people ask me "Why do you have a tattoo of an elephant on your ear?" I can say "Don't worry about it. It's ear elephant."

I got a Gucci tattoo on my ball sack I've got a designer bag now

My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later.

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh... Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

A blonde gets a tattoo... ...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.

Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?

Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.

A friend asked me what my tattoo says. I told him, "It doesn't really talk much."

The kind of woman that ya make your wife. I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

My daughter is considering getting a tattoo... She asked me what she should get. I told her to get a 4, so people would say what's that for.

What do hookers and tattoo artists have in common? The minimum is $60, unless you're willing to risk catching a disease.

A blonde gets a tattoo... On her inner thigh of a conch shell.

Her friend asks "Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?"

"So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean."

What did Mike Wazowski call his tattoo parlor? Monster's Ink.

My girlfriend has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh When I put my ear up to it I can smell the ocean

I showed Casey Neistat my tattoo ... and he said it was a Neistat