Teenager Jokes

I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common? They both thought "my Mom's gonna kill me."

The worst thing about being in my 40's is that I can't get teenaged girls to sleep with me. It's like being a teenager again.

My friend was raped by a teenager mutant ninja turtle. He wasn't wearing a mask, so we don't know which one did it.

I was flirting with this teenager on the internet... ...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop.

How cool is that for someone her age?

My wife laughed when I said I still had the body of a teenager until she checked the freezer.

I'm 50, and I have the cholesterol of a teenager. It's amazing what you can find on eBay.

My wife told me she has the body of a teenager I guess she found out about me and the babysitter

What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

An insolent teenager is having an argument with her father And as she storms off she shouts, "Oh and by the way, Jim Morrison SUCKS!"

The father looks back and responds, "Hey, there will be no slamming of The Doors in my house."

What does an american teenager and a middle eastern feminist have in common? They're both getting stoned.

Difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits til you’re a teenager to come on your face

A teenager buys condoms for the first time... The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax.".

Horrified, the boy exclaims "I thought they stayed on by themselves!"

Whats the difference between a zit and a priest? (My 17 year old camper just said this, made me cringe) A zit waits till you're a teenager to come on your face.

Spongebob was the most unrealistic kid's show A teenager in a minimum wage job owning a house and car. Pfft

What’s the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne doesn’t come on your face until you’re a teenager.

When I was a teenager, my dad found cigarettes in my room & made me smoke the whole pack. I'm really glad he didn't find my bag of heroin.

When I was a teenager, my mom always said that your bedroom is so messy that you will never get any self-respecting girl to come back here. Luckily they weren't the ones I was going after.

15 Year Old Teenager: "I love the US! It's the land of freedom and opportunity! We even have freedom of speech!" CNN: "Hold my beer."

When I was a teenager, I used to punch my memory foam pillow when my anger was getting beyond control. Now it's memorized all my moves, and I live in constant fear.

What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits to come on your face until you are a teenager.

When I was a teenager, I had to learn how to drive a stick. We couldn't afford a car.

Friends son turned 13 today. Any teenager jokes I could give him? I'll start. Why do we know Abrahams son wasn't a teen when Abraham tried to sacrifice him? Because if he was a teenager, it wouldn't have been a sacrifice.

Why is X = 2K + 1 called the teenager equation? because it can't even.

What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends? Hang at home.

Whats the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on your face till you're a teenager.

Dad joke A teenager is in his room masterbating .. his Dad walks in and catches him. He's very embarrassed. Dad sits on the bed and says:

"Son if you do that too much you will go blind"..

His son replies: "Dad I'm over here"

Why did the edgy teenager lock himself in the freezer ? He taught it was cool.

What's the difference between a priest and acne? The acne waited till I was a teenager to come on my face...

A rookie cop is sent to monitor a speed trap for hours... Finally near the end of his shift a car blows by at 80 mph. He pulls over a teenager and tells him, "I waited all day for you to get here."

The teenager replies: "I got here as fast as I could."

What do you call a teenager with no legs? A lowlife

Why was the teenager arrested in Wal-Mart after asking if they sold protective coverings to use while smoking weed? When asked why he came in, he said he needed to “case the joint.”

What does a pro fisherman, a serial killer, and a teenager have in common? They’re all Master Baiters.

I think I have the body of a teenager. I tell myself I'm not getting older but it refuses to listen.

TIL Neville Chamberlain worked at a hot dog stand as a teenager. It really prepared him for a career in giving out concessions.

Ghandi's profound effect on Curtis Jackson's life When Curtis Jackson was just a teenager, he heard an inspirational quote from Ghandi that would change his life forever;



"Be the change you want to see in the world."



So he became 50 Cent.

When asked what turns me off I replied Nothing. Literally nothing. I'm a teenager.

Today I saw a man be murdered, a teenager sodomized with a lead pipe, a woman get raped, and a child kidnapped. These day time shows are really getting out of hand.