Thursday Jokes

I only drink on days beginning with "T" Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow

I looked at my bank account and found I could live the rest of my life comfortably without working... ... as long as I die on Thursday.

Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg Gregorian Calendar.

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T. Tuesday, Thursday and Today.

Edit: Also Tomorrow.

I only drink on days that start with "T" Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday, Thunday.

Three hard-of-hearing friends are sitting together on a bench. One says "Wow, it sure is windy."

Another corrects, "No, it's Thursday."

The last one says "So am I, let's go inside and drink some tea."

When you get old, your hearing starts to go... Three old men are walking down the street one afternoon. The first one remarks "Windy, isn't it?"
The second one says "Nah! It's Thursday."
The third one nods and replies "So am I, let's stop for a drink."

Three old guys are sitting on a bench in the park One says, "Windy today."

Another says, "You idiot, it's Thursday."

The third guy says, "Me too, let's go get a beer."

The inventor of the dissapointing punchline has died His funeral will be held on Thursday at 2pm.

Britain's fattest man has died. The cremation will be next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'

Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'

Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

I always give 100% at work 14% on Monday

30% on Tuesday

30% on Wednesday

24% on Thursday

2% on Friday

A windy day Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench.

The first says to her friends "gosh, it's windy today".

The second says "no, it's Thursday".

The third says "so am I. Let's get a drink".

I just looked at my bank account... ...and found out I can live comfortably, without working, for the rest of my life...As long as I die on Thursday.

Three men with hearing aids are walking down the street One of them says,
"Brr, it's windy today, ain't it?"
The second man responds,
"No, it's Thursday you idiot."
The last one says,
"Me too, let's go get a drink."

A lady gets on an elevator... She says to the man standing there, "T-G-I-F!" to which the man replies, "S-H-I-T."
Taken aback the lady repeats, "T-G-I-F! Thank Goodness It's Friday!"
The man gives a smug grin and says, "Sorry Honey. It's Thursday."

My boss asked why I have been late 4 times this week I replied "because it's only Thursday"

A few minutes ago while I was lifeguarding, an old lady told me that I looked like a lion pacing back and forth. Now I'm nervous for my dentist appointment on Thursday.

Scroll to the end Monday: Greg

Tuesday: Ian

Wednesday: Greg

Thursday: Ian

Friday: Greg

Saturday: Ian

Sunday: Greg

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The Gregorian calendar

The owner of the local cinema died today His funeral is on:

Monday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15

Tuesday 15:30, 17:15, 19:00

Wednesday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15

Thursday 16:00, 17:45, 19:30

I bought a used Lamborghini cheap with hopes of making a quick buck. My friend offered to flip it for me. He was as good as his word. The funeral is Thursday.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days...

Gregorian Calendar Monday: Greg Tuesday: Ian Wednesday: Greg Thursday: Ian Friday: Greg Saturday: Ian Sunday: Greg

Sunday: Greg. Monday: Ian. Tuesday: Greg. Wednesday: Ian. Thursday: Greg. Friday: Ian. Saturday: Greg So this is how the Gregorian calendar was created.

It's Alzheimers day on thursday... It's Alzheimers day on thursday...

Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor... And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!

Three old men are walking down the street... The first old man says "Hey, it's Windy"
The second old man says "No, Thursday"
The third one says "I agree, lets go get a beer"

What did the monster say when he saw a full train during rush hour? "Oh good! A chew, chew train!"

Credit to the attendant at Balaclava Train Station in Melbourne.

"Have a train-tastic Thursday night!"

People need to stop putting flyers on my car. No, I don’t want to see a band called “Parking Violation” at the “Courthouse” next Thursday.

Three old men are sitting on a bench One says, "Windy today."

Another says, "No you idiot, it's Thursday."

The third one says, "Me too. Let's go get a beer."

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday... ... Those were the days.

My impression of 2 old nearly deaf guys at the park sitting on a bench together. Old guy 1. Boy, it sure is windy.

Old guy 2. No it's not! It's Thursday!

Old guy 1. Yeah me too. Lets go get a beer.

What do you call a fat guy, from New Orleans, that never tells the truth? A jambo-laya.

Thanks for coming out, I'll be here till Thursday.

3 men, hard of hearing: "Its Windy out, isn't it?" "No, it's Thursday", responds the second; to which the third replies "Me too, let's go grab a beer".

Two old dears were sat on a bench "it's windy today!"
"I think it's Thursday... "
" So am I. Let's go get a cup of tea."

What day of the week would you drink the most water? Thursday

How Donald Trump's meeting with Barack Obama on Thursday will go down: Trump: "Barry, you're fired"

What do people black people eat on Black Friday? Whatever they couldn't finish on Thanksgiving Thursday you racist

3 elderly men are sitting next to each other on a park bench The first says, “It’s windy today.”

The second says, “No it’s Thursday.”

The third says, “I’m thirsty, too. Lets get a beer.”

What do you say when someone does something really random? Wednesday, Thursday, Friday