Tiger Jokes

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Funniest Tiger Jokes

Funny Tiger Jokes
Score: 17795

Just got scammed out of $15. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money.

Score: 602

A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help. "It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries.

"Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

Score: 597

My son wanted me to buy him GTA When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"

He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf

Score: 364

I was just scammed out of 25 dollars. I purchased a dvd titled "Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes." It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!

Score: 218

Two guys were walking though the Sahara They suddenly see a tiger approaching .

One guy throws sand in the tiger's eyes and he runs away.

The other guy keeps standing still.

"RUN MAN, WHY ARE YOU STANDING STILL??"

"Well I didn't throw the sand at him"

Score: 145

I've got the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion, and... a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 144

A lion would never cheat on his wife... But a Tiger Wood.

Score: 142

I've got the eye of the tiger, the heart of the lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 137

What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger? Gladiator

Score: 134

I have the eye of the tiger... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Score: 100

A lion would never cheat on its wife. But a Tiger wood.

Score: 74

Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend? Because its not a cheetah.

Score: 56

A lion wouldn't cheat on its mate But a Tiger Wood

Score: 51

What should you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Apologise and wipe it off.

Score: 40

I was sexually assaulted by tony the tiger today. I'm pushing charges for rrrrrrape.

Score: 39

I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, "Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth." He said, "Well you were mythtaken."

Score: 35

I just got scammed out of $10. I bought a Tiger Woods DVD called “My Favorite 18 Holes.” Apparently it’s about golf.

Score: 34

If a tiger was attacking your wife and mother in law at the same time and you could save one, who would it be? The tiger of course. There are only a few left 🐯

Score: 32

I wish I was Tiger Woods... 18 holes a day, and he still finds the time for golfing.

Score: 32

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing? In case he gets a hole in one.

Score: 30

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths? Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Score: 30

What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods? One of them has a good driver.

Score: 28

Why did Tony the Tiger go to prison? RRRrrrrrrrrrrrape!

Score: 27

Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Score: 27

I'm not a professional caddy or anything.... but I think Tiger Woods probably should've used a driver.

Score: 26

What's the difference between princess Diana and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver

Score: 25

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods has a better driver

Score: 24

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two? In case he got a hole in one.

Score: 24

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ho's.

Score: 23

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped at 3 Ho's

Score: 22

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Ho's.

Score: 19

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three ho's

Score: 15

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 100 yards without hitting a tree.

Score: 14

What is the best thing about Tiger Woods' arrest? A black man in America finally survived a traffic stop. Progress!

Score: 14

How do you catch a unique Tiger? Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame tiger?

Tame way.

Score: 12

When interviewing the police officers involved in Tiger Woods' arrest, they told how they came to suspect he was under the influence. "Simple" The officer responded. "It was the straightest drive he's had in years. We knew right away something was up."

Score: 12

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops at three Ho's

Score: 10

Tiger Woods was arrested for DUI... he was three shots over.

Score: 10

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three hoes.
(sorry if repost)

Score: 8

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New Tiger Jokes

A lion wouldn’t shop at a Food Lion. But a tiger woods.

Score: 0

If the sequel to "Tiger King" was made in China what will it be called? Monkey Ming - Murder, Masks and Mandarin

Score: 0

What did Tiger Woods give his mistress? Golf clap

Score: 3

You got gonnorhea from Tiger Woods? *Golf clap.*

Score: 4

What do you go if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise.

Score: 7

Tony the Tiger is advertising the new fruity cornflakes Theyyyyyyy'rrreeee grape

Score: 3

Son: Is that tiger fresh? Mum: Well it was throwing up blood yesterday.

Credit to: Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Score: 1

Would a lion leave its wife? No, but a tiger wood.

Score: 8

What did Tiger Woods give his ex-wife before she dumped him? Golf clap.

Score: 1

After more than a decade, Tiger Woods finally won a Masters. Looks like he's finally on the straight and narrow

Score: 1

Tiger Woods won the Masters in 18 holes today. He’s going to win 18 holes tonight.

Score: 1

Tiger woods was being interviewed about his dalliances Reporter: How many women did you sleep with?
Tiger: nine.
Reporter: Wow that half a round of golf?
Tiger: Full round actually, your forgetting about the back nine.

Score: 1

What’s the difference between between Santa ang Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho’s

Score: 0

Tiger Woods went to the Virgin Islands It is now called just the Islands.

Score: 4

What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped after three hoes.

Score: 3

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped at three ho's.

Score: 7

Why did Tiger Woods retire? Because 18 holes wasn't enough.

Score: 2

Since Tiger Woods is back in the news and it's the holiday season.... What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stopped at 3 ho's

Score: 5

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and an amateur golfer? Only one of them gets convicted for reckless driving

Score: 8

How to catch a Tiger? 3 ways to catch a tiger....

Newtons law : allow the tiger to catch u, then u catch the tiger...

Veerappan's law : kidnap tiger's wife and ask the tiger to surrender..

Indian Police Method : Catch a cat and beat it until it agrees it is a tiger...

Score: 3

A tiger can jump higher than a three story building. Tigers have fast twitch muscles in their backs and legs, and buildings cannot jump.

Score: 4

Two kittens were chasing each other in the jungle Suddenly one slipped and fell, it's mom saw and told it: tiger shoelaces together or you'll fall again

Score: 2

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise

Score: 1

TIL a tiger would chase down your vehicle leaving his family behind, but a lion would never do that. Because it would hurt his pride

Score: 3

A lion wouldn't drunk drive But a tiger wood

Score: 2

My wife left me, saying I was a compulsive liar Atleast I think that's what she said... I was busy wrestling a tiger at the time.

Score: 2

What's the dress code at any event involving Tiger Woods? Black Thai

Score: 1

When Tiger Woods was pulled over by the police, they asked him how many pills he had taken... ... He yelled "FOUR!"

Score: 2

I have the heart of a lion and the eye of a tiger. And also a lifetime ban from the zoo

Score: 4

Would anyone like some prescription drugs? Tiger Wood

Score: 4

Why has it taken so long for the cops to catch Tiger Woods for DUI? He hasn't been able to drive straight for at least five years

Score: 1

BREAKING: Tiger kills worker in an enclosure at UK zoo park Man he took that DUI hard

Score: 4

A lion would never drive while drunk. (Update) Neither would a Tiger, apparently.

Score: 3

Tiger Woods was pulled over and given a sobriety test. He would have passed but withdrew 1/2 way through.

*edited for word superfluous word removal.

Score: 2

Irony Out of all the 9 irons, pitching wedges, and sand wedges tiger woods has.. you'd think he has a driver that works

Score: 1

Did you hear tiger woods got arrested? Should have used his driver.

Score: 5

I'm not surprised Tiger Woods to get arrested for a DUI... ...he hasn't been driving straight since 2009.

Score: 4

Tiger Woods hit 18 holes day And still had time to play golf

Score: 2

What do you call tea and lemonade? It depends... Just tea and lemonade is called an Arnold Palmer. If you add vodka to it, then it's called John Daly. If you drink too many John Dalys and get pulled over, it's called a Tiger Woods.

Score: 2

Tiger Woods was found driving under the influence Before you know it he will be putting under the influence.

Score: 2

Why did Tiger Woods get a DUI? Because his driver was off.

Score: 1

What's the similarity between a lion and a tiger? They are both lions, except for the tiger.

Score: 3

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a human? Kicked out of the zoo and fined 1,000 dollars

Score: 7

A German tank commander boasted "One Tiger can take on ten Shermans!" And an American replied "Good thing we have eleven."

Score: 4

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three ho's

Score: 6

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after three HOs.

Score: 1

My mommy told me I would grow up to be a big tiger someday... She was lion.

Score: 4

What do you call a man-eating tiger? A tiger.

Score: 8

A successful woman needs four animals in her life... A jaguar in her garage, a mink in her closet, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for all of the above.

Score: 6

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after the third 'Ho'

Score: 1

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus stops after three ho's.




I don't claim... heard from a colleague of mine.

Score: 8

What STD Does Tiger Woods have? Golf clap

Score: 5

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