Hilarious Tips Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Tips Jokes

I’m a 40 year old with the body of a 20 year old... Any tips for burying him?

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I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?

Score: 1672

What is a nice guys' favorite cooking utensil? M'Ladle

*tips fedora*

Just kidding, it's his mom. He doesn't cook.

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I'm having some real trouble mending my broken fence. Can anyone here give me some tips?

I was told you guys are the best at reposting.

Score: 438

I got a new job circumcizing elephants The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous

Score: 375

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living. The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

Score: 266

I used to work at the circus I was the guy that circumcised the elephants.

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were huge.

Score: 234

How do people lose their kids at the mall? Seriously, any tips would be greatly appreciated...

Score: 155

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe occasionally tips

Score: 136

Tips to reduce weight…
First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!

Score: 124

I got a new job at the zoo, circumcising elephants. The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.

Score: 122

I always cry before talking to attractive girls Any tips against pepper spray?

Score: 109

I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.

Score: 102

I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.

Score: 98

My friend has a job circumcising elephants. The pay isn't that great, but the tips were huge.

Score: 87

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe tips.

Score: 83

For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

Score: 82

I recently got a job circumcising elephants the pay is terrible but the TIPS ARE HUGE!

Score: 70

I once had a job circumcising Elephants The pay was low, but the tips were *huge*

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Elephant circumcision... ...The pay's rubbish but the tips are enormous.

Score: 59

I just got a job circumcising elephants. The pay is terrible, but the tips are huge.

Score: 59

I got a job at the circus circumcising the elephants ....the pay sucks, but the tips are huge!!

Score: 56

My job circumcising elephants doesn’t pay much. But the tips are huge.

Score: 53

I preform circumcisions at the local synagogue. The pay isnt that great, but I get to keep the tips.

Score: 52

I got a job at the circus. I had to circumcise the elephants. The wages weren't great but the tips were enormous.

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My Aunt Mary got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants, the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.

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How much do people who perform circumcisions get paid? $50/h plus tips

Score: 39

I used to perform circumcisions for a living. I got tons of tips.

Score: 38

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?

A Canoe tips.

Score: 36

I Recently Got a Job Circumsizing Horses... The pay isn't good but the tips are huge.

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What's the best place to find anonymous tips? A glory hole.

Score: 24

I used to work at the zoo circumcising elephants the job was awful, but the tips were huge

Score: 19

I am seriously considering reversing my circumcision. Anybody have any tips?

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Wanted: Circumcision surgeon $700 per week, plus tips.

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Why do arts graduates like fancy restaurants? Bigger tips.

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Why was the circumcision doctor so rich ? He kept all of the tips

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I once knew a guy who did circumcisions The money wasn't great, but at least he got to keep the tips

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Got a new job as an elephant circumcizer... The pay is pretty bad, but you get big tips.

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Jewish Rabbis don't get paid for circumsion... They just get tips

Score: 9

New Tips Jokes

I'm a 40 year old with a body of a 20 year old. Any tips on how to bury him ?

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What do a waitress and a rabbi have in common? They both take tips.

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Why did the Chef have lots of Cow Friends? They gave him great Steak tips

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A rabbi was asked how much does he charge for a circumcision... He replied : "I just keep the tips."

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Why I’m for male circumcision How will religious figures have a living salary if they don’t keep the tips?

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What is the worst part of getting a circumcision Realizing the surgeon doesn’t keep any tips

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Hanging outside trying to catch some do-it-yourself tips from the Plumbers Only Convention. So far, no leaks.

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What do a waitress and Rabbi have in common? They both take tips.

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My dad had a friend that circumcise elephants at the zoo. He said the pay small, but the tips were big.

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My friend Ricky works at the circus. His job is circumcising elephants. Although he likes it, the wages are low but the tips are huge.

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I got a part-time job at the gas station glory-hole... ...I make my money on tips.

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My greatest two tips for success 1. Never tell anyone everything you know.

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2 game changing tips that will give you the advtange. 1: Never reveal everything you know.
2:

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Swimming pool tips Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

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Did you know Jewish rabbis don't get paid for circumcisions? They just keep the tips.

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How much does a doctor charge to do circumcisions? He doesn't charge anything but he gets to keep the tips!

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What does a mohel and a waiter have in common? They both make tips.

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Why is the circumcision Doctor so wealthy? He gets to keep all of the tips!

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Elephant circumcising I've got a friend who got a job circumcising elephants.

The pay sucks, but the tips are huge.

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What's the highest paying profession in the world? Circumcision. You don't get paid much hourly. But you get a lot of tips!

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A man goes to the doctor's for a circumcision He asks how much it will cost.

The doctor replies, "No charge, i only take the tips."

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*tips cell* m'tochondria

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I asked my butcher for Jewish chicken wings. Cut with the tips off.

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Texting while driving kills Once there was a line written on hoarding, 'Texting while driving kills.' That's okay but there was something written at the bottom too

'For more driving tips text 'SAFETY' to 19800.'

Really WTF

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I make wires for a living. I'm a bit short of cash, so I made the tips out of beef. Just trying to make ends meat.

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What do 90's boy bands and blue spruce trees have in common? They all have frosted tips.

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I just got fired for getting beauty tips online during my lunch break! my Boss said " Madison Ivy gets a facial" is not a video on beauty tips.

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A man is rocming a vending machine trying to get a soda for free Eventually the machines tips and falls on top if the man, cracking 6 of his ribs. Fortunately for the man, there were about 25 Dr.'s were already on the scene.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? The canoe occasionally tips.

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Anyone looking for a job should consider becoming an elephant circumsiser... ... the pay isn't too great, but the tips are enormous!

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