Hilarious Trash Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Trash Jokes

Score: 6463

Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I throw half of them in the trash I sure don't want unlucky people on my team.

Edit: thanks for the upvotes you guys!!

Score: 2244

"One mans trash is another mans treasure" is a great quote but, its not the best way to tell your kid that hes adopted.

Score: 2140

George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters.

(If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)

Score: 1852

"One man's trash is another man's treasure." is one way to tell your kid that they're adopted.

Score: 1518

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" it's a great saying...
but a terrible way to tell your kids that they're adopted.

Score: 320

One man's trash is another man's treasure. Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Score: 320

The Imperial Wizard of the KKK was just found dead near a river in Missouri... Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping white trash in our water.

Score: 305

Like my Dad used to say to me "One man’s trash is another man’s treasure" Wonderful saying but a terrible way to find out you were adopted.

Score: 280

Have you seen the new documentary about white trash? I've only seen the trailer.

Score: 247

Girl, you must be a trash can... Because I want to take off your top and stick my junk in you.

Score: 246

I'm done buying trash bags... I always just end up throwing them away anyways

Score: 217

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great saying... But apparently a bad way to tell your kid they're adopted.

Score: 199

“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”... Is a great quote, but it’s not the best way to tell your kid that he’s adopted.

Score: 198

I bought a trash compactor for my ex-wife Or, as Victoria Secret calls it - a corset

Score: 163

There is a time and place for decaf coffee Never and in the trash.

Score: 159

A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, "what are you doing!?!"

HR Manager said, "I don't like to hire unlucky people."

Score: 140

"One mans trash is another mans treasure" Is a good quote... But apparently its not the best way to tell your kid he's adopted.

Score: 127

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great quote... ... but it is not the best way to tell your kid that he's adopted.

Score: 114

"One man's trash is another man's treasure," is an awesome phrase But it's a horrible way to tell your kid they're adopted.

Score: 106

"One man's trash is another man's treasure..." Was a pretty terrible way for my dad to tell me I was adopted.

Score: 106

I went into the kitchen this morning and noticed the trash was leaking Or “crying” as she calls it.

Score: 91

One mans trash is another mans treasure Wonderful saying

Horrible way to find out that you're adopted

Score: 74

I hear voices telling me to do things I don't want to do "Take out the trash"

"Do the dishes"

"Clean the litter box"

Why did I get married?

Score: 63

One's man trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

Score: 55

I've always said that one man's trash is another man's treasure. But apparently that's not a good way to tell a child he's adopted.

Score: 53

What is worse than two children in a trash bin? One child in two trash bins.

Score: 51

I made a new mixtape, it was trash Until I played it on my new galaxy note 7, then it was fire

Score: 47

One man's trash is another man's treasure... ...is not the best way to tell a kid that he's adopted.

Score: 46

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash. Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

Score: 46

What is the difference between me and trash? Nobody takes me out

Score: 45

Girl you look like trash... Let me take you out

Score: 34

Hey, girl, can you turn yourself into a trash bag? ...because I want to take you out. :)

Score: 11

My wife told me to take out the trash... So I took her out to dinner.

Score: 11

My dad was driving me back home from my friend's house yesterday when he threw a piece of trash out of the car It took me a long time to walk home

Score: 11

One man's trash is another man's treasure.... horrible way to speak to your adopted son

Score: 8

Why do Tennesseans always wear orange? On Saturdays they watch the Vols. On Sundays they hunt. The rest of the week they are picking up trash by the side of the road.

Score: 8

I tried to join in on #trashtag, but now I'm in jail. Apparently it doesn't matter how annoying they are, you can't just clear out white trash.

Score: 7

Brain fade Friend 1: "I just threw the chocolate that I had planned on eating, in the trash can. Sometimes I think I am retarded"

Friend 2: "Oh! I do that as well"

Friend 1: "Put your chocolate in the trash can?"

Friend 2: "No. Think you are retarded"

Score: 7

Literally just saw a dude in the city center humping a trash can... When I asked him why he was doing that he said, "It's cleaner than my ex wife."

Score: 6

New Trash Jokes

Doing nothing when you see someone throw trash on the side of the road makes you a friend of litter... Litter-ally

Score: 1

What do you call an immortal bee? a zombee.

Sorry this joke was trash

Score: 4

I think I should have been clearer with my instructions. The trash was at least taken out . . . of the can.

Score: 1

What does Cardi B and the ocean have in common? Both are filled with trash, and may knock men out.

Score: 3

What a two letter abbreviation for trash Me

Score: 2

I came home late and very drunk the other night to find my wife in bed with another man! I was furious and started breaking whatever I could get my hands on...by the time the cops showed up I had managed to trash half my neighbors house.

Score: 2

Son asks his Dad if he can throw baseball with him. The Dad takes the ball and says, "I'll pitch the ball."

The son runs out onto the field, full of happiness and excitement.

The Dad drops the baseball in the trash and walks away.

Score: 1

I was a massive skater back in my youth, and I performed one of the greatest tricks ever, no skater has ever been able to do it. I picked up my skateboard, threw it in the trash and wen't and got a job.

Score: 1

My neighbor left his trash out this morning, and there's a red stain where the can was. He'll probably ask his wife to clean it.

Score: 1

What's the difference between and radical feminist and a trash bag? A trash bag gets taken out once a week

Score: 4

What's worse than 3 babies in a trash can? One baby in three trash cans

Score: 6

A piece of space trash wanted to ask a spaceship to homecoming. A piece of space trash wanted to ask a spaceship to homecoming. They slid past each other in orbit. I guess he wasn't *inclined* enough!

Score: 4

A Canadian was told to throw out the trash And thats why we Have Justin Bieber in the U.S

Score: 1

One man's trash is another man's treasure Is not the way to explain to your wife why you married her

Score: 4

How can you tell when a white trash guy gets a promotion? He's got a leather couch on his lawn.

Score: 2

I think Taylor Swift's new single defies expectations. No one expected it to be trash, did they?

Score: 1

You should try adding olive oil to Kale It makes it much easier to slide into to the trash.

Score: 1

What do you call a trash talking mushroom? Shittalki

Score: 4

Husband & Wife Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Me: Why not just throw it in the trash?

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use these clothes.

Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

Score: 2

Oscar the Grouch recently proclaimed his love to me. With a song called "I Love Trash"

Score: 1

Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale It makes it easier to scrape into the trash

Score: 5

How do you make kitty litter? Take away its trash can!

Score: 4

One mans trash, is another mans treasure. Phenomenal, well thought out phrase, but horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Score: 5

You can tell a lot about a person by their house Peeking in through the windows
Recording their every move
Listening in with lasers
Yep, you can tell a lot about someone by their trash
Or behind a bush

Score: 4

People say girls like men with 6 packs, ripped and able to lift them up. Well I have more than 6 packs of rubbish, ripped jeans and can lift bags full of trash across the street without sweat.

Call me up.

Score: 2

When I'm a hiring manager and I receive a pile of CVs I throw half of the pile in the trash. I don't want unlucky people working in my department.

Score: 3

What do you call a public trash compactor? A wreck center.

Score: 1

What do you call trash that is 3 feet high? A junk yard.

Score: 1

Out of all the chores I did as a kid, I always took out the trash before anyone asked... I guess you could say I was pre-disposed.

Score: 1

I never knew my ex wanted me back so much. In fact, today he called me "white trash" because he just had to take me out.

Score: 1

Me: I hate all of the trash jokes in this sub. Friend: They're not trash, they're *recycle*.

Score: 2

What's the difference between trash and children? Nothing, I eat both of those things.

Score: 3

What do you call a group of special needs kids in a car trash compactor?? Mashed potatos.

Score: 1

Before we left the room, our teacher told us all to pick up at least one piece of trash on our way out. So as I walked out the classroom, I looked at her and said "Hey baby, here's my number, call me."

Score: 3

There is time and place for decaf coffee. Never, and in the trash.

Score: 2