Union Jokes

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Funniest Union Jokes

With the UK leaving the EU, the union has some free space. Exactly 1GB

Score: 1357

Did you guys know that the Soviet Union made the best bread in history? People would wait days in line for a single piece

Score: 1122

We should get all the ex-USSR states back together Then we could have a Soviet re-Union

Score: 695
Funny Union Jokes
Score: 376

The soviet union actually made the best bread in the world. People would stand in line for days just to get a piece of it.

Score: 304

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union.

Score: 134

Why was everyone in the Soviet Union so good at driving manual? Because they were afraid of Stalin.

Score: 103

What do you call a British circle jerk? A Union Jack.

Score: 69

Why could nobody in the Soviet Union drive a car? They kept Stalin.

Score: 60

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union? They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

Score: 54

My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay. I got full marx.

Score: 48

The Soviet Union made the best bread in the world. People stood in line for days to get it.

Score: 41

Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him... Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

Score: 36

What do you call an apathetic socialist state? The "So be it" Union.

Score: 27

How did every joke in the Soviet Union start? With a glance over your shoulder.

Score: 23

People should have known that Soviet Union would collapse. There were a lot of red flags.

Score: 21

Who has killed more indians than John Wayne? Union Carbide Corporation

Score: 20

What do you call a southern divorce? A secession from the union.

Score: 17

In Soviet Union we had old joke about Stalin But you would die laughing if you heard it

Score: 15

It was foreseeable that Jeff Bezos would destroy his marriage After all, marriage is a sort of union.

Score: 15

Did you hear about the boxers' union? They demanded equal rights, lefts and uppercuts.

Score: 15

I was talking to a girl about the establishment of the 4th Reich when a girl told me that I was being politically incorrect Apparently the proper term is "European Union"

Score: 13

In 1991, a country banned expressions of surrender, acceptance, or agreement. That marked the fall of the "So be it" Union.

Score: 13

Y’know, communism is definitely the best system of government. Nowadays it costs one hundred dollars just to go camping for a night. In the Soviet Union you could go to camp forever, and it was free.

Score: 13

The Soviet Union should get back together... To have a Soviet Reunion

Score: 12

A date told me she'd love to have visited the Soviet Union at it's greatest. I got out of there real quick. It was clearly a big red flag.

Score: 12

What do you call an arranged marriage between two communists who don't like each other? A so-be-it union.

Score: 11

Why didn't the Soviet Union join WW2 until 1941? They were using Stalin-tactics

Score: 11

What do you call a Russian Get-together after 50 years? A soviet re-union.

Score: 11

I completely agree with Brexit, I don't care what you guys say, Europe Union doesn't matter

Score: 11

TIL of a Nine Inch Nails and Tool collaboration project that never made it to the studio because of union issues It was called Unlicensed Carpentry

Score: 10

I was dating a chick from the Soviet Union... it was nice until she tried to seize my means of reproduction.

Score: 8

Why was the soviet union so ineffective? Because it's leader was **Stall**in' but it's people were **Rush**an.

Score: 8

They say the Soviet Union had the best Bread! It was so good, people waited on line for hours to get some.

Score: 7

What If the Soviets Reunited Today? It would be a Soviet Re-Union.

Score: 6

If Donald Trump talks about "fake news" during the State of the Union... Does that make it the State of the Onion

Score: 5

What was the stuttering Republican doing by jerking off? se-seeding from the union

Score: 5

My favorite Joke about the Soviet Union A old babushka is walking down the street and sees a little boy with only one shoe. She comes to him and asks, "Did you lose a shoe, poor boy?"
He replies, "No... I FOUND a shoe!"

Score: 4

Why was everyone named Ezekiel in the Soviet Union? Because everyone Ezekiel in communism.

Score: 4

If you go to a friends house and they have a giant banner of the Soviet Union hanging in their room That should be a red flag

Score: 4

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New Union Jokes

How much space will brexit free up after leaving the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 0

How mucj space will the Brexit free up in the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 0

Do you know how much space will be free when England leaves the European Union? 1 GB

Score: 4

What’s the difference between us and we and our? Neither they all serve the Soviet Union.

Score: 1

If Stalin didn't become the leader of the Soviet Union he would be Starvin.

Score: 4

If Stalin didn't become the leader of the Soviet Union he would've been Starvin.

Score: 2

If the Hippie era happened in the Sovyet Union It'd be called ourpower

Score: 2

A Hamburger in the Sovjet union Two bread coupons with a meat coupon in the middle.

Score: 3

Why did the french toast go on strike? They were tired of being in the syurpeon union.

Score: 2

What's 500m long and eats only potatoes? People in Soviet Union waiting in line for meat.

Score: 1

Why didn't set theory become a branch of mathematics until the mid 1800's? Before then, the only legal union was between man and woman.

Score: 3

Adam and Eve must have lived in the soviet union. They had no clothes, no roof over their heads, the only food they had was an apple and the management was constantly telling them they were in paradise.

Score: 3

What's a prerequisite to joining the European Union? You're a nation

Score: 2

What was the Soviet Union's favourite bird? Josef Starling.

Score: 1

What do the European Union and the European Onion have in common? They both make people cry when they're chopped up.

Score: 3

Soviet beds In soviet union, we do not have two person bed, we have the three person bed.

Why?

Because comrade lenin is always with you!

Score: 2

The Soviet Union could have worked just fine, but the regime was dominated and swerved by political extremes Next time we should seize the trimmed means of production.

Score: 1

California, Oregon, and Washington are seceding from the USA. ...and joining our neighbors to the North to form the...
Federated Union of Canadians, Kingdoms, Territories, and Regencies Under Mutual Protection

Score: 2

Did you know the ninjas have gotten together and formed a union? They strike from the shadows.

Score: 4

Why was there no crime in the Soviet Union? There was nothing worth stealing...

Score: 1

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