Hilarious Urine Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Urine Jokes

-Sir, you have a bladder infection. -What’s that?

-Urine trouble, sir.

Score: 2685

I looked her square in the eyes and said, "Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?" "I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.

Score: 2005

A pee fetish isn't something you do half-hearted. Either urine or you're out.

Score: 999

Me: Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right? Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.

Score: 832

Score: 580

Whenever I tell someone I sleep like a baby they always seem pleased I should probably find a different metaphor for waking up at 3am screaming, covered in my own urine.

Score: 426

As a child I had a severe condition where I had to drink my own urine else I would die Lucky my brother told me about it before it was too late.

Score: 201

What did the kidney stone say to the man? Urine trouble.

Score: 136

click here if you want to join the peepee club urine

Score: 130

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080p

Edit: Although 4k would make more sense, it doesn't flow as well as 1080p. I could make it 1440p but 1080p is just more recognizable.

Score: 128

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080p

Score: 119

If you have bladder problems... Urine trouble

Score: 110

Why is a UTI such a bad thing? Because it means urine trouble

Score: 104

What do you call a mustache soaked in urine? A pistachio.

Score: 90

In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine... Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came on just as I was filling the can

Score: 61

The doctor says to the old man "I'll need to check your blood, urine, and stool. The old man who is virtually deaf, turns to his wife and shouts "WHAT'D HE SAY?". His wife says "the doctor said he wants to see your underwear".

Score: 60

What did the doctor say to the patient with a bladder infection? Urine Trouble

Score: 49

If your urine smells like alcohol, you may have a drinking problem If your urine tastes like alcohol, you definitely do have a drinking problem

Score: 44

Fact: In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my wi-fi came back on just as I was filling the cup.

Score: 38

What happens when you get a bladder infection? Urine trouble.

Score: 35

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

Score: 34

If you have never seen Man Vs Wild, then urine for a treat.

Score: 32

If you like pee related puns... then *urine* for a treat.

Score: 31

I took a urine test at the hospital the other day Man, my kleptomania is out of control.

Score: 30

You know what happens if you get a bladder infection? Urine trouble

Score: 25

What do you call really clear urine? 1080p

Score: 22

If you were looking for a joke about pee... urine luck.

Score: 22

My doctor asked me for a urine sample and a stool sample. So I gave him my underwear.

Score: 22

My ex-wife recently passed away. Guess what she got on her gravestone? My urine.

Score: 18

An old woman goes to the doctor's office... ....The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."
The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

Score: 17

If it hurts when you pee.... Urine trouble.

Score: 16

What did the cop say to the old man peeing in public? Urine trouble

Score: 14

What did the doctor tell the man with a UTI? It looks like urine trouble.

Score: 11

What did my dad say when I wet the bed? Urine trouble.

Score: 7

What does it mean when it hurts to pee? Urine trouble!

Score: 7

What happens when your significant other discovers your pee on the toilet seat? Urine trouble.

Score: 5

Apparently, when you supply Human Resources with a urine sample... ... it has to be because they requested it

Score: 5

What did the job interviewer say to the urologist after his successful job interview? Urine, doctor.

Score: 5

If you have to go see a urologist Urine trouble.

Score: 5

Why can't you get out of an R. Kelly cult? Once urine, urine

Score: 5

New Urine Jokes

If someone pee's on you, you know what? Urine trouble!

Score: 0

When is an awning like a urine sample? When it’s a can-o-pee.

Score: 2

A guy working on giving me urine and sperm samples tried to tell me how to do my job. I said hey, no comments from the pee/nut gallery.

Score: 2

Which is the urine drop that makes the most distance? The one you put back in your pants

Inspired by a recent askreddit
My dad used to tell this joke

Score: 1

Why did the engineer provide a urine sample and his driver’s license? Because he was asked for his P&ID.

Score: 1

To everyone too weirded out by the thought of peeing on someone else, you should really try it at least once. Urine for a good time.

Score: 2

Why is urine a different colour to sperm? Because otherwise you wouldn't know whether you where coming or going

Score: 4

When it’s hard to pee, Urine trouble.

Score: 1

Never go to Bear Grylls' house for Halloween because... Urine for a treat

Score: 4

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, And I gave him a glass of water and my urine sample.

Score: 1

Old guy goes to the doctor His wife is with him to help due to his bad hearing. The doctor says he'll need a stool, urine, and sperm sample. Not sure what he said the man asks his wife. She replies "The doctor needs your underwear".

Score: 2

In a survival situation, if there is no water, you can drink your own urine.... ... So just in case, I ALWAYS take a bottle of it wherever I go.

Score: 2

I'm a performance artist. My next show involves peeing on a scary clown.... And now, Urine on It.

Score: 2

My only joke. What did one little boy say to another who wanted to join the pee-pee club?

"Urine".

Score: 2

Smells like Urine What is 40ft long and smells like urine?

A line dance at an old folks home.

Score: 3

What did I tell my friend when he told me he got a bladder infection? Urine trouble.

Score: 4

If you were expecting a joke about pee, urine luck!

Score: 1

What did the doctor say to the patient with kidney stones? Urine trouble but it'll pass.

Score: 3

My girlfriend told me to stop leaving the seat up. So I did. Now she's mad that there is urine on the toilet seat. I know this has probably been done a million times...

Score: 4

What did the puddle of pee say to the guy standing in the puddle of pee? Urine urine

Score: 2

If you gotta pee but there's no toilet in sight... ...urine big trouble

Score: 3

What's the worst part of being a babysitter when a kid pees on the floor? Urine Charge.

Score: 2

What do they tell you when you get accepted into the pee club? Urine

Score: 3

Not saying that trump stories are false or not but the urine jokes ... ... are gonna be golden

Score: 2

On election night Trump asked if he had won... Putin said urine

Score: 1

What is 20m long and smells like urine? A conga line in an old folks home.

Score: 1

I forgot to take my bladder medicine.. The nurse said 'Urine trouble now!'

Score: 1

What do you say to someone with a bladder problem? Urine trouble.

Score: 2

What happens when so-and-so step in the neutrino's urine? He develops LEPTONspirosis.

Score: 0

Two Flordia football players have been suspended for Saturday's game vs. Tennessee for refusing to take a urine test... I guess you might say urine or your out.

Score: 1

What's 50 feet long and smells like urine? Line dancers at the old folks' home.

Score: 2

Want to hear a good pee joke? Well urine luck.

Score: 4