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Contents
Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth? A Flossiraptor
A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Yo momma.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I'm sorry
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
What do you call a redditor with an opinion? Names
What do you call a priest that’s also a lawyer? A father in law
What do you call a Bee hive with no exits? Unbelievable.
What do you call an evil Muslim? Muhahahahahahammed
What do you call a 60-year old whose puberty just started? A late boomer
What do you call a french man wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillop
What do you call a soldier that's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran
What do you call a dwarf in a tumble dryer? A midget spinner.
What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus? An ambulance you racist.
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time? A widow.
What do you call a snake that's exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon
What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms? A Goodyear
What do you call a Communist sniper? A Marxman.
What do you call a 3.14m long snake? A πthon.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time.
What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.
What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?
A re-seeding airline!
​
This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD
What do you call a man with 6,022 x 10^23 dollars? A Moleionaire
What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time? A widow
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence
*edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
Church
Edit: Thanks for Frontpage I will read thru all this when I get home and yeah I'm not an Atheist I'm a Christian
What do you call a cannibal who only eats coma patients? A vegetarian.
What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph cause he isn't a full essay
What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys? A neck romancer.
What do you call a werewolf that doesn't know he's a werewolf? An unawarewolf.
I just made this one up and it's really stupid. What do you call a resistor that can't afford rent? Ohm-less
What do you call a really long metaphor?
It's like, a metafive
PS I made this up myself and I'm really proud of it
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon
What do you call a Japanese spice demon? Pepper-oni.
What do you call a pizza joint run by epileptic midgets? Little Seizure's
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years? Church
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef!!!!! What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a priest? Alien vs predator
What do you call a mouse on 2 legs
Friend "i dont know"
Me "mickey mouse"
Me "what do you call a duck on 2 legs"
Friend "donald duck"
Me " all ducks idiot"
What do you call a case of premature burial? A grave mistake.
What do you call a world's shittiest recycling center? r/Jokes
What do you call an explosive monkey? A baboom
What do you call a threesome in an oasis? A Mirage à trois.
What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? Cacao
What do you call a bee that lives in America? a USB
What do you call a drunk women? An uber so she can get home safe
What do you call a knight encircled in enemies? Sir Rounded
What do you call an army of babies? An infantry.
What do you call a nine sided shape that won't reveal its identity? Anonogon.
What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?
A bassist.
(Don't get triggered, I play bass and I find this funny)
What do you call a caveman who doesn't really know where he's going? A meanderthal.
What do you call a cow with Parkinson's? A milk shake
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear...
(From my daughter)
What do you call a body that's been buried in the wrong tomb? A grave mistake
What do you call a necrophelic gang-bang? Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
What do you call a fat psychic? A 4-chin teller.
What do you call a red-haired baker? The ginger bread man
What do you call an illegal immigrant vs. a child molester? Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain?
A) High roller
B) Virgin mobile
C) Nun of the above
What do you call a cow that gets an abortion? Decaffeinated
What do you call a skinny Muslim A muSLIM.
What do you call a sexist Masseuse?
A Massaginist!
It's an awful joke I came up with last night and couldn't stop giggling thinking about it.
What do you call a red headed ninja? A Ginja
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? A church.
What do you call a monkey holding a fire cracker? A Baboom!
What do you call an Australian looking after his grill? A barbie sitter
What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant? A satisfactory
What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Ilene.
What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
Irene.
What do you call a book club that's stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church
What do you call a super hero completely made of ice? Justice
What do you call an atheist business? A non-prophet organization.
What do you call a gymnast with a low IQ? A flippin' idiot.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
I'll see myself out now.
What do you call a bunch of zombies dressed as Superheroes? The Necro Comic-Con
What do you call a fat baby? Heavy infantry.
What do you call a jacket that's on fire? A blazer.
What do you call an exploding ape? A baboom.
What do you call a fantastic Japanese teacher? Sensei-tional
What do you call a vegan lion? Dead
What do you call a bombed schoolyard? Recess Pieces.
What do you call an emo accapella group? Self harmony.
What do you call a fake sudoku? A pseudo-ku.
What do you call a bee from America? USB
What do you call a man having a seizure in a pile of leaves? Russell.
What do you call a rapper whose half black and half white? 50 percent
What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who's run out of protein powder? No whey José
What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother calling it, it won't come
What do you call a robot whose sole purpose is to have one-night stands? Nuts and bolts
What do you call an Apple update you don't see coming? An iPatch... I'm sorry...
What do you call a formula that can predict Al Gore's dance moves? An Al Gore Rhythm algorithm.
What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic!
What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease
This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokémon trainer? Ash.
What do you call a young plastic covered sheep? Laminated
What do you call a redneck virgin? A 13 year old girl who runs faster than her older brothers.
What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check.
What do you call a cow that has abortion? Decaffeinated
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