Contents
Funniest Jokes
New Jokes
Funniest Why Do Jokes
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because it’s always too soon.
^(i feel bad)
Why do North Koreans draw lines so well? They have a Supreme Ruler.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot.
Why don't hillbillies ever try reverse cowgirl? Because you don't turn your back on family.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Cause light attracts bugs.
Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early? They like to beat the crowds.
Why do we call "#" a hashtag and not pound? Because feminists wouldn't appreciate the PoundMeToo movement.
Why does Kevin Spacey never get 1st place in races? Because he likes to come in a little behind.
If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them? Because they don't have access to black magic.
Why does Waldo wear stripes on his shirt? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
Why do Jews get Circumcised? Because Jewish women refuse to touch anything that isn't at least 10% off
Why does Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks
Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines? Because they have a supreme ruler
Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
Why does France have so many rivers? Water follows the path of least resistance.
Why do Vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat? Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don't like where real meat comes from.
Why do programmers get confused between Halloween and Christmas?
Because
OCT 31 = DEC 25
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
Why do people in Alabama not do the reverse cowgirl? Because you never turn your back on family
Why don't Ewoks yell inside? Because they use their Endor voices!
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired? Because they're working around the clock.
Why don't Native Americans like snow? It's white and settles on their land
Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi? Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Why don't aliens visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time? Because the sign says no trespassing.
Why don't hillbillies do reverse cowgirl? Because they don't turn their back on family.
Why do riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.
Why do you always see teen girls in groups of three? Because they literally can't even.
Why does the military use acid? To neutralize the enemy base
Why does Donald trump use twitter instead of Facebook? Because he has followers, not friends.
"Mommy, why does everyone at school pick on me?" "I have no idea, Someoneyourownsize"
Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
Why do French tanks have a rear-view mirror? So that they can see the battlefield
Why does McGregor love springtime so much? Cause you just can't beat Mayweather.
Why don't churches have WiFi? Because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Witnesses? Italians don't like ANY witnesses