Hilarious Wrong Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Funniest Wrong Jokes

TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 22839

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

Score: 19827

What I if told you You read the title wrong

Score: 16365

I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like

Score: 13240

I am giving up drinking for a month Sorry that came out wrong

I am giving up. Drinking for a month

Score: 12358

Score: 11135

I keep hearing people say these SoCal earthquakes are being caused by the heat or as punishment for how we have been acting. I think they are wrong. It is actually the San Andreas's fault.

Score: 8253

My dentist removed the wrong tooth. It was accidental.

Score: 7506

I called a dwarf by the wrong name. He wasn't Happy.

Score: 7020

My wife screamed in pain during labor... "What's wrong, honey?" I asked.

"*What's wrong*!?" she screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"

"I am sorry, babe," I replied. "*What is* wrong?"

Score: 4924

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 4059

A woman starts to scream while giving birth. 

"What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.

"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"

"Sorry babe. What is wrong?"

Score: 3552

TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once Whoops wrong sub

Score: 2791

TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Oops, wrong sub

Score: 2529

I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread.

Score: 2377

I'm pretty bad at building fences Oops, wrong place for this post.

Score: 2302

Unfortunately my dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday He buried someone in the wrong hole.

It was a grave mistake.

Score: 2238

TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port. Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 2145

A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home. "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Herman said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

Score: 1936

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple Sorry, wrong thread

Score: 1829

I tell it in the wrong order. Why am i bad at telling jokes?

Score: 1812

TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.

Score: 1761

I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said

"NOTHING"

Score: 1737

A woman screams as she gives birth... "What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.

"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"

"Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"

Score: 1560

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me. I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

Score: 1558

I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like.

Score: 1519

As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.

Score: 1457

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

Score: 1439

TIFU by hiding in poison oak Whoops, wrong shrub

Score: 1329

Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "

Score: 1271

Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says: "I think we got this joke wrong".

Score: 1169

If there's anything my wife has taught me about being sexist, It's probably wrong because she's a woman.

Score: 1114

I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains. Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.

Score: 788

If you are a man explaining something, you are "mansplaining." If you are a woman explaining something, you are... "Wrong"

Score: 684

Is it wrong to hate a specific race Because I really hate marathons

Score: 608

If your girlfriend's dad ever angrily asks "where do you get off" "In your daughter" is the wrong answer

Score: 536

If a man with a foot fetish cheats on his wife... Does that mean he got off on the wrong foot?

Score: 493

I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait, that came out wrong. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month.

Score: 463

A old man was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone. "Herbert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herbert, "It's hundreds of them!"

Score: 456

About 14 women asked me out today I was in the wrong toilet

Score: 376

New Wrong Jokes

I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the bodies of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me. I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

Score: 65

I’m canoeing in Sudan, not Egypt - my map must be wrong I guess I’m just in denial

Score: 60

From my 8yo daughter. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because the ‘p’ is silent.

Edit: she thought she was funny, and I laughed. Wrong setup and all.

Score: 117

Why is Kevin Spacey bad at hide and seek? He comes out at the wrong time.

Score: 159

What went wrong with the feminist picnic? No one made the sandwiches

Score: 157

Why did the sperm cross the road ? Because I accidentally put the wrong socks on this morning.

Score: 172

I was unlucky to be sacked as a chef for using the incorrect fish and herbs Wrong plaice, wrong thyme

Score: 41

I hate it when people get simple stuff wrong I mean, it's not rocket surgery

Score: 121

I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing... But I can't put my finger on it.

Score: 37

I was on a first date last night. We were at a bar and when i looked at her i couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I started to go weak at the knees and sweat all over my forehead.

It was only then i realised, that i drugged the wrong drink.

Score: 98

After my mother’s funeral, we all went for lunch at an Indian restaurant. When the waiter came to check that we had everything on our order he noticed my daughter crying. He asked me what was wrong, I told him she was just missing her nan.

Score: 52

Polyamory is wrong! You can't mix Greek and Latin roots.
It's either Multiamory or Polyphilia.

Score: 54

My biology teacher asked me what was the ugliest vegetable IMO. Apparently, Stephen Hawking was the wrong answer.

Score: 69

Vegans proven wrong again If animals really didn't want to be eaten then why would they be made out of food?

Check mate vegans

Score: 310

What went wrong with Trump's Suicide Attempt Fake Noose

Score: 94

What did the cemetery worker say when he realized he buried a body in the wrong place? I've made a grave mistake.

Score: 76

What do you call a body that's been buried in the wrong tomb? A grave mistake

Score: 116

Today, I got pulled over by a female cop. I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong.

She said "NOTHING!"

Score: 77

My dad always thought I wasn't man enough to become a fruit farmer... ... I proved him wrong by growing a pear.

Score: 46

I took the number 25 instead of the 52 today thanks to my dyslexia Whoops, wrong bus

Score: 40

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism ... then I probably wouldn’t be complaining about capitalism.

Score: 84

Some say filling animals with helium is wrong But I say whatever floats your goat

Score: 291

I've been in an abusive relationship for months now and I can't seem to get out of it. Someone show me what I'm doing wrong. Everytime I hit her, she keeps coming back.

Score: 43

Have you heard of Murphy's Law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Coles Law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.

Score: 209

I'm not sexist because sexism is wrong. And being wrong is for women.

Score: 48

A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... And the bartender asks "what's wrong?"

The man replied "I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!"

Score: 53

You guys ever heard of Murphy's law? Murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.

You guys ever heard of Cole's law? Its thinly sliced cabbage with a vinaigrette, salad dressing.

Score: 98

How did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks

Score: 262

When you getting it on but she says the wrong name My name isn't Help

Score: 43

TIFU by making my customer the wrong sandwich, giving her an allergic reaction. Whoops. Wrong sub.

Score: 67

If a man with a foot fetish cheats on his wife… Does that mean he got off on the wrong foot?

Score: 143

TIFU by plugging in the wrong speaker into my computer, causing a blackout in my neighbourhood Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 125

Trump: Send nudes Kim: You mean nukes?
Trump: Sorry, I sent that to the wrong Kim

Score: 49

Two clowns are eating a cannibal One turns to the other and says, "Wait. I think we are doing this wrong."

Score: 120

TIFU by accidentally walking out with the footlong BLT of the guy ahead of me in line Whoops, wrong sub

Score: 59

As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong." "Question 2 ?" I asked.

"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs."

Score: 146

A wife calls her husband driving to work and says, "Honey be careful. There's a maniac driving on the wrong side of the road on the highway."

He responds, "One maniac? There are hundreds of them."

Score: 39

LPT: If you know somebody with dyslexia that uses public transport, offer to help them read their timetable to prevent any mixups. Whoops, wrong bus.

Score: 51

TIFU by delivering a punch line in the wrong place at the wrong time April Fools!

Score: 49

I went in for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who can be responsible"... "Well I'm your guy!" I replied,

"At my old job, whenever something went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Score: 135

I always say good night to my microwave every morning I'm in a very different timezone that those agents in Washington DC.

EDIT:wrong word

Score: 50

What I if told you... You that read wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Score: 91

Have you guys heard of Murphy's law? It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you ever heard of Cole's law? It's thinly sliced cabbage.

Score: 63

A man diagnosed with cancer was given six months to live, but he worked hard and proved them wrong. He killed himself three hours later.

Score: 83

What's wrong with that 5 year old Ethiopian? He's having a mid-life crisis

Score: 47

TIL how not to install a fence Ooops... wrong place for this post

Score: 81

Sure, I could agree with you.... Buy why should we BOTH be wrong?

Score: 256

Some people think that killing animals with helium is wrong... I don’t judge…

Whatever floats your goat.

Score: 42

I kept pulling the string from my Christmas hat and now its half the size Oops, wrong thread

Score: 334

[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock... Whoops, wrong sub.

Score: 143

Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat.

Score: 87

I keep getting told I'm a terrible mailman.. Oops I've posted this in the wrong place

Score: 307

So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Score: 55

AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub.

Score: 165

Why are bad jokes like dead babies? Usually, something went wrong with the delivery.

Score: 42

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder.. Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

Score: 77

Im not sexist... Because thats wrong and being wrong is for women

Score: 338

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?" She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

Score: 198

Why are artificial intelligences in movies always female? Because they're never wrong

Score: 57

An elderly lady calls her husband during his drive home, "Stanley, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 5, Please be careful!"... Stanley said, "It's not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!"

Score: 88